Leaving Fuji & Aokigahara ...

Kawaguchiko Travel Blog

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2007.07.07

Reflections on having spent a night in Aokigahara...do i have anymore now, than when i went in?  I doublt that very much.  But i asked the forest to remember me.  i did however ask it to care.

- as i lay there, my back against a tree, sitting on 400 years of rocks, and wood, and mold, i thought of Dead Man: how you can feel as though you were sitting perfectly still, and it is the world that moves by you, and not you though it.  that you do not propagate thru the ether...it propagates about you, as though you were a giant stone in the river...life rushing by all around you...sometimes you interact, sometimes you observe.

i sat there, looking up at the patches of sky thru the canopy, small windows to the outside world and i thought about all the people climbing Mt Fuji, all the people on the subways, all the people getting up to go to work, going to sleep.

..and one would never really notice, sitting there in the heart of a suicide forest.  sitting in the middle of such still life all around, pondering the moving life outside hundreds of thousands of miles away.  The forest is like a little time capsule...time stops when you set foot into it...and this whole world just keeps on spinning.

i realized, that going to Japan to get away from it all was not enough, climbing an epic mountain, was not enuff...i actually had to hoof it to the belly of the trees, to take a time out, to take some time and space to myself.  The only thing between myself and the outside world: the trees.  And the only thing between the trees and i?  Only 3 cotton sweaters, two pairs of socks, a rain shell, a Slovakian wool blanket, and all my own fears.

  The fear, kept my heart pounding in my ears, all night long.  The fear, keptmy sweat running down my spine all night long, kept me clutching to my blanket for dear life.  But the forest did not take away my fears, but neither did it take my life.

- as i watch the proprietors of the Lava Cave store prepare to open, i realize that yet another day is flowering.  i only sat outside for 2.5 hours while the day covered me with a lite morning mist.  "Start the day clean," i suppose it was trying to tell me.  Perhaps it was a small cleansing from the night before.  Perhaps it was "sheding slow dirty tears"...the ones i didnt shed the night before.  Trauma has such a delayed effect on me.  I suppose i built up too much of a defense sytem over the years.

  "It feels great to be alive, Bankson.  It feels great to be alive."

- on the tought of the workd advancing as the forest stands still.  what if, we reversed our scope, and looked at the forest as ever changing and dynamic too, simply at its own pace.  It has taken centuries, and stretched them out, down to years.  then taken years, and stretched it wide, to the span of a day.  and there i am.  having spent just one day in the bosom of "the sea," and today, it gets perhaps, another distant visitor upon her shores.  times a day.  times a month.  times a year, times a hundred years, and so forth.  one visitor per day over a century, would seem as busy as the ants on the ground, busy every second, to a forrest that was 400 years old.

..only 400 hahaha.  A child herself.  And today, one of her sprouts, has stood up, sprouted legs, and walked out into the world, beyond the boundaries of her shores, free to roam the land.  He will always carry you in his heart, mother, so you will see the rest of the world thru his eyes.  Aokigahara, is now "jet set."  Hail to the winds....except this sprout has a horn...hahaha.

- soon a small yellow bus will take him down the hill to Kawaguchiko.  Then a bigger bus will take him to Shinjuku, Tokyo.  Then a fast train will take him to Kansai...then a giant airplane will take him across the sea.

  And each time her canopy takes a breath, he will be one step farther away.  And each time her canopy heaves to take a breath, he will be one step closer, to home/return.  <Bob Dylan: put a candle in the window>  Time to return to the anthill, that is Tokyo.

[X] Mt Fuji, summit sunrise
[X] Aokigahara, one night under the stars...

- we imbue, inanimate objects, places...things, with our own strengths and weaknesses, with out own reflections of the world.  They become, the physical manefestation of our souls.  Bread crumbs to the center, bread crumbs to the being.

- another great blessing:  returning to Kawaguchiko pn the first Retrobus, and get there in time for the Shinjuku bus; it left one minute after i boarded it.  a bit of running involved hahaha.  good thing i stretch my legs in Aokigahara...

- the bus rolls away, and once again the past few days seem to melt away with each passing mile.  the blisters on my feet will heal, the pain in the soles of my feet will fade.  and eventually all traces of this adventure will be gone, except fot the fire in my eyes, and the burning in my chest, and the dreams...yume wo...i will always remember.

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Kawaguchiko
photo by: Biglush_23