The trip changes. The truth from Cambodia

Cambodia Travel Blog

 › entry 20 of 34 › view all entries
So, my words have not been too frequent, I have not been so good at this blog writting thing as I'd imagined. What have I been doing? Everything and nothing, roasting in the sun and complaining. Moving and back and forth, treating Bankgok as well I might elephant and castle, a place I'm just travelling through on my way to somewhere else.

So what has travelling been like.

It has finally hit home that this is not a holiday and in some ways, I think my pace has changed, slowed down to some degree, but sharpened, as I take in all manner of things that are new to me.

But today I recognised complacency. I lay on the beach next to Andy in Sihanoukville in Cambodia, and rather than simply seeing the complete beauty and contrast of where we were. The beautiful vista, the smiling faces of round cheeked cambodian women working the beach with a smile on their face, for but a few dollar. Dollars that at times I hold onto with such a tight fist. I saw nothing.

I was just another beach. I had to remind myself to stay in the present and be grateful.

Cambodia softens your heart, not because it's a beautiful place as such, but because it's full of smiling, hard working,if a little annoying at times, strong proud people.If I'm never get asked for a tuk tuk again it will be to soon. There are more tuk tuks than punters and that makes for a very much interrupted walk anywhere.

The Khmers are lovely, not because of what they have gone through, but inspite of it. Their food on the other hand is inedible. Never before have I traveled some where, where eating in such an expensive chore. I cannot, will not, refuse to eat the local food. If I could I would take pictures, but the khmer diet indicates that nothing good grows here, khmers are not generally fat people, there's nothing in their diet to get fat on.

Whilst we ate steak and chips in fancy French owned restraunts for 6$ a pop, khmers are eating cabbage with salt and pepper and beetles, with some line caught fish, and soup contained the offal and organs of some animals. I have the luxury of not liking khmer food, if I try hard enough I can find something to eat, but for the most part its just and expensive ball ache. Are tuk tuk driver Ol and his family, took us for a family picnic khmer style,..beetles and all. They have nothing, but they give what they have with a smile and from the heart.

So Andy is here, and we have been travelling together for nearly a month now. How has it been? how honest can I be. Well for the most part it has been great, I have my best friend by my side, my love experiencing all these wonderful things with me. But Andy and I, are not one, we are different people, are reactions and reception to the world are so different, and that is highlighted when you spend 24 hours a day together in a foreign place. Not only does it point out how different you are, but just how much you are the same, and that I don't think I could have done this with anyone else.

If anyone else was ever going to feature in my travel plans it would have had to have been him. Its been nice to be loved again, told I'm beautiful and have my hand held, all those everyday things I was missing whilst we were apart. I miss being on my own sometimes, mainly when I want to write, or feel a particular shitty non explainable mood coming on, that will see me act like a child for a few hours...Andy really deserves better than that, and its at those times. I crave my solidarity, so I can act like a prat in private.

But he stay and deals with it, me, and it's at those times that I appreciate how lucky I am. Yes, I am making my self sick, but I guess I'm just acknowledging that for once in my life my relationship allows me to experience the fullness of myself. I do not always like what I see, and on those things, I'm working.

Ok, so what have I seen, I just started writing some big long story of everything that was happenning,what I/we had seen etc, but I started to bore myself. I deleted and started again, so here the most interesting bits in bullet points of my journey so far

1. I have decided that despite all its bullshit, I love bangkok. What a great city and in a different life I'd live there in a heart beat.
2. I miss cooking, I mean really miss it, Eating out 3 times a day everyday gets real old, real fast, not to mention expensive and fattening I have put on some kilos that Im not too happy about.
3. Angkor Wat left me speechless. If you know me, then you will know that this is not a regular occurnece. If I'm honest I didn't have a bloody clue what I was going to see. I knew it was ruins, temples, a complex yada yada, but no idea of its history or scale. The whole thing blew me clean away. It's like some tomb raider indiana jones shit. Trees so big you look like an ant next to them.
4.I love snorkelling.I mean love it. Before I have always been scared of water that went over my shoulders even though I could swim. However in the sea, my feet touching the bottom is kind of important to me. Andy and I went snorkelling in Koh Wai and Island of Koh Chang, where the is no electricity other than from 6pm-11pm, only 1 restraunt, and at the time we were there, only 3 others staying couples, alongside boats loads full of half naked russians, making everyone feel embarrassed. It's amazing what you can see under the ocean. I saw a sea slug and sea urchins and nearly died.
5. Sometimes paradise gets boring. The classic line that got uttered on Koh Wai went like this " Andy, I'm bored. There's nothing to do, its, just like paradise, and thats it" . He laughed at me, and quite rightly so.
6. I have been thinking lots and lots about the next step, the next goal in my life. This was such a big thing for me, a dream I'd had harbored for so long, that now I'm actually doing it, I can't help but thinking what next. What next dream. that seams insurmountable am I going to achieve, what next. I have lots of ideas
7. Stopping smoking is a bitch, I lie to myself everyday, but I'm an addict and I need help. I even tried bringing the patches, but they fall off in the sweat, and when 20 cigs cost about 50p, well its seams rude not to. But really, it's my most hated and deadly habit.
8. I've gained some fantastic new music, favourites at the moment are Fela, Bonobo and some hungarian gypsy shit which is the bomb
9. Being home sick sucks and as much as I say I would, I don't know if I could have done a whole year, and by myself, I don't know. At times travelling can be lonely, especially when you get inside your own head a bit too much like I did in Pai. Isolating, sitting in the hammock on my porch for hours, listening to music, thinking, smoking. I guess in Pai, I had the luxury of knowing I had a travelling family just on the other side of the bamboo bridge if I wanted it. But seriously, travelling alone can be lonely, and you will get on your own nerves.
1. I really want an slr and to become good at photography and making things.

But thats it really, a summary of where life is at for me. It's 32 degrees at night and you need 3 showers a day, often I am the tourist attraction, just because of the colour of my skin, I'm off me food, but bang of the red wine which is very reasonable in Cambodia unlike extortionate Thailand. Were thinking of heading to Malaysia earlier than planned, and I'm blacker than a sand boy. Signing out from the roof top in shianoukville.x

Join TravBuddy to leave comments, meet new friends and share travel tips!
Cambodia Hotels & Accommodations review
Sokham hotel is ok. HOT HOT HOT, the food takes forever to come, the staff will try to rip you off on travel tickets, but I ended up gettting the mone… read entire review