Never Trust a Satnav

Gympie Travel Blog

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Dirt road heading into woodland

When you’re travelling alone you can’t mess around with maps and you don’t want to waste fuel driving in circles, so the satnav becomes your best friend.  I selected Silvia to be my travelling companion; she’s also Italian and she has a pretty sexy voice.  We get on very well, I can talk to her for hours about anything and she’ll quietly listen, she even likes my singing and I think Bella likes her company, because she’s happy to follow her around town.  However, there are a couple of things about Silvia which I can’t stand: 


First of all, she’s not aware of one way streets and in many cases she has told me to turn up a one way street against the traffic; 


Secondly, many of the Highways in Australia have a central island like in the Uk, but every now and then there is a small link, instead of junction roundabouts, which is used for U-turn.

Point of no return
  For some strange reason, Silvia thinks that there are two separate roads and if we’re heading somewhere to the right of the motorway, she’ll tell me to turn sharp right into the small link, then sharp left into the oncoming cars!  Mad woman, driving up to Mooloolaba she did this to me every couple of kilometres for 50 Km... drove me bloody bananas, so I had to shut her up!


Thirdly, and most annoyingly she’ll always pick the shortest route, but she won’t tell you that you need a 4x4 for some of the roads, which got me in serious troubles!  I was driving up to Tin Can Bay and half way along the journey the road turned to gravel, then to a bad dirt road.  At first I though it was just a small section, so I carried on for a few more ks.  I passed two 4x4 parked up and couldn’t help noticing the look of concern on both driver’s face, I just smiles, waved and carried on.  I didn’t think to stop and ask if the road was going to get any better.  The sun was rapidly going down, Silvia showed another 30 ks to TCB and up ahead I could see thick woodland.  At first, it was kind of comical, then my mood changed to concern and when the road turned to a sandy red mush with deep tire tracks I stopped, my head filled with bad thoughts.  If Bella got stuck here, I would have been well and truly bummed!  So I chose to turn around and drive back 25 ks and make a turn for a place called Gympie.  It was dark now and my eyes were wide open, I was told not to drive at dusk or dawn because it’s when kangaroos come out, and you don’t want to hit one of them fat-furry animals.  Bella was shaking like a shitting dog and I was really worried I might soon hear the sound of the exhaust scraping on the ground, oh I wished I had fixed those engine mounts too and that loose left ball joint.  Then my attention turned to the fuel gauge, not far from the reserve, great.  I could tell Silvia was mortified, she wasn’t saying much.  It’s funny how in situations like this you question how the mind works and why do we always think of the worse case?  I hit rock bottom when images from the film Wolf Creek started creeping into my mind!  I locked the doors, clenched my buttocks tight and hoped to reach that bloody junction.  I got there safe, and after another 20 ks I reached Gympie with not much fuel left.  Sod it!  I parked the car and walked into the first pub I could find, I deserved the biggest stake on the menu and a few beers to chill out. 


I learned two important lessons


1)       Do all the driving in the morning, so you have all day in case things go wrong

2)       Never trust a bird to give you directions… Later that day I swapped Silvia with Bruno, he’s much more mature and I’m confident he won’t drop me in it!  :-)

aiohdmg says:
Hahah...Have fun with your blog!!!

Cannot stop to read what would be next!
Posted on: Nov 05, 2008
alicegourmet says:
That's super funny! LMAO! Thanks God that I had a photographic memory and a good sense of direction! ;)
Posted on: Jul 31, 2008
Ape says:
Haha, I had the same thing first, but more people are reading my blog every day, I realized. Are you going to catch up on the blogs from Asia? I'm currently travelling there, would be interested in reading your thoughts!
Posted on: May 11, 2008
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Dirt road heading into woodland
Dirt road heading into woodland
Point of no return
Point of no return
photo by: LMTaylor