The bachelor party

Oahu Travel Blog

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Another Waikiki day

I woke up late again and more than a little hungover. The sun was like an ultrapowered spotlight coming in through the balcony windows that even my swollen eyelids couldn't ignore. My skin felt hot and sticky. I made a grimace at Chris, who for some reason was already up and moving about the kitchen. "Coffee," I growled at him.

"No coffee, buddy."

I whimpered and hung my head. I went to the bathroom to put my eyes back in. Dustin and Terumi had already left for work, but the Korean girls' door was still closed. When I came out Chris talked me into going down to use the building gym with him.  The apartment was like an oven, so I wasn't about to stay there. I downed a couple glasses of water with gusto before heading out.

The barbarian hoard conquers the beach
As we were jogging, Christian told me that he spent $300 last night. I raised an eyebrow at him (or tried to). I wanted to tell him that he's fooling himself if he thinks I believe him. Still, I was pretty broke myself, so I let him commiserate with me about the lack of money. Ain't no thang really, as long as you got a place to hang your hat, in my opinion.

We headed out to Waikiki beach again and found a spot on the crowded beach. I tried to bodysurf the little waves but that morning they were beyond pitiful so I gave up. Chris came out for a minute but immediately went back in. I got bored and joined him. We were laying on our towels when out of nowhere Chris let out a monsterous sneeze.

That says: HIGHEST QUICK STOP (Hmmm....)
And suddenly he was sick. I mean, like flu sick. Life is weird like that, isn't it?

I figured it was just a cross between fatigue, hangover and foreign air. I suggested we go back to the apartment so Chris could take a nap, since this was the night of Dustin's big bachelor party and he couldn't miss it, sick or no. We stopped at a Burger King on the way back (we were hurting on cash) since we hadn't eaten yet. Inside there were all sorts of plaques on the wall, like Fastest Staff etc, including one that said Highest Quick Stop. Your guess is as good as mine on that one. We ate our burgers (they were awful) out on the grass bluff between the beach and the street and watched white pigeons mating. It's worth noting that all the pigeons on Oahu are white, which lends to the feeling that you're really breathing clean air.

The Duke
You know, England used to have white pigeons until the industrial revolution...

Our friend, Dave, was due to arrive, so I gave him a call as we walked back to make sure he knew how to get to Dustin's house. He said that someone named Mike Steel was going to pick him up and give him a ride. I told him Steel was cool and to give me a call when he got into town. We passed a giant statue of the Duke and saw that people were throwing their old leis onto his outstretched arms. Chris and I made a mental note to grab our leis before we left and throw them up onto Duke too.

By the time we got back to the apartment, Chris was pretty sick. He immediately crashed out and I turned on CNN to catch the Super Tuesday results. Obama had almost caught up to Hillary.

Out like a light
I thought it was kind of interesting how I always refer to Obama by his last name, but to Hillary by her first name. Shit, that's got to be sexist in some way. I tried saying it the other way: Barak had almost caught up to Clinton. I shuddered. It wasn't the same. Suddenly, I got a glimpse of why my Grandpa can be such a prick sometimes.

My phone rang and Dave told me he was at the Hilton drinking in Steel's room. I told him I had to pass on the alcohol. I was taking a pleasant rest between last night and the ungodly amounts of liquor I knew I'd be consuming tonight. We instead made plans to go get something to eat. I met Dave at the Hilton and almost didn't recognized him. He was rocking a Hemmingway (a full beard). I told him that Chris was sick and needed some shut eye.

Dave arrives with a new beard
We walked down Kalakaua Street to a little Japanese ramen shop that I wanted to try. We ordered some ramen and caught up a little. I was stuffed by the time we left and it started to drizzle like it always does in the early afternoon. Dave was pretty beat from traveling too, so we went to the store and bought the cheapest bottle of wine we could find and cracked it open upstairs in the apartment.

We killed a couple hours drinking and watching CNN until the Korean girls came home with a bunch of food. I was excited for the Bulgogi (Korean BBQ) dinner they had promised to make everyone. They said Hi to Dave and made themselves busy in the kitchen. Christian, probably smelling Sophiya in the room, woke up feeling better but still sick. Eventually Dustin came home and the four of us all toasted to our friendship.

Stay out of the kitchen...
I should probably explain that the four of us, Dustin, Christian, Dave and I all met as roommates while doing a study abroad in Florence, Italy. Well, Dustin lived in a different house, but he was over enough to make him an honorary roommate. Anyhow, it was the first time all of us had stood in the same room in 6 years. It was a great reunion.

Dustin filled us in on the plan. After some confusion DORSH finally took the reigns and arranged for the party to start at his and Steel's hotel room at the Hilton. Bear in mind, reader, that this was Probowl weekend and that the Hilton was going to be loaded with football players and their entourage... we knew that we in store for a wild ride.The important thing, Dustin said, was that we all left the apartment before Terumi got home.

Jungin in focus, Sophiya out
Sort of an out-of-sight out-of-mind thing. I told Dustin about the big Bulgogi dinner the Korean girls were making. He said, fine, we'd leave after a quick bite.

Dustin went to work out at the gym and when he came back he announced he had to get something off his chest. He said if any of us had anything to say, just say it now or get the hell out of his apartment. I laughed, not thinking he was serious and he shot a look in my direction. "I'm fucking serious," he said. The room suddenly got cold. We asked him what he meant and he told us that late last night after we all got home, he (in drunken stupor) thought he heard us talking about how wasted he was. And then swore he heard me say, "He deserves it anyway," or some shit like that. We sat there blinking at him.

The calm after the storm
I for one had no clue what he was talking about, but even if I had said that, it wasn't for any lack of love on my part. Afterall, I had fucking flown across the Pacific to go to his wedding. I think we could all sense that he was stressed out from the wedding and we did our best to sooth him. He calmed down but kept avoiding my gaze like he didn't believe my sincerity. I wanted to remind him that I put him up at my house for a week when he visited Japan. We let him complain for about an hour while the girls in the kitchen pretended to ignore the whole scene. After a while, he was back to his old self, but I could see he felt a little guilty about losing his cool in front of us.

So we teased him relentlessly until we were all laughing about it.

On the attack
What are friends for, after all :)

We got dressed in our best and waited around, but the girls still weren't finished cooking. Dustin lobbied for us to leave but we reminded him of the dinner. Not wanting to hurt the Korean girls' feelings, he relented to wait a little longer (he's a softy at heart) but I could tell he was getting impatient. It was going on 8pm already. Sure enough, when Terumi came home and we were still there, she was upset. Not in any way that you or I could detect, but I'm sure as hell Dustin picked up on it. Terumi had brought with her her brother-in-law, Yuki, and Yuki's friend Ibbe (pronounced E-bay). I chatted with them in Japanese until finally the dinner was finished and we ate.

We left immediately after that, taking Yuki and Ibbe with us.

A "safe" picture of the bachelor party
We took the elevator down and made the short walk to the Hilton. Like I thought, it was crowded to the gills with people partying and hoping to get glimpses of the Probowlers that were staying there. In restrospect, I don't think I ever did see any Probowlers that weekend, but whatevs... We went up to the forth floor to Steel's room and met the gang.

Hmm, now what to say about the bachelor party that needs to be said? The following may or may not be embellished depending upon who is reading this. If you're Terumi, I'm making this all up for the sake of a good laugh. Ha ha....   ha.

DORSH hired a stripper and, to make a long story short, the party sucked. She was this 40 year old Vietnamese woman with very fake boobs. Furthmore, she was mental.

The throne
After giving Dustin one statuesqe lap dance, she locked herself in the bathroom and stayed there most of the night. I could tell Dustin wasn't too into it, but egged on by his friends (some of them of the lowest of caliber... read: DORSH) he got pretty naked with her. At one point, it looked like she was rubbing her hoo-hoo on his forehead. Poor Dustin... peer pressure's a bitch. But other than that, he behaved.

I suddenly realized that I had left the cigars at the apartment. Not wanting to freak Dustin out, I quietly slipped out the door and ran back. I knocked on the door and a very surprised Terumi let me in. I could see embarrassment and accusation in her eyes, but she let me in anyway. I found out why. He parents were in the room and they were in the middle of dinner.

Dustin about to get a whip cream shower
I bashfully bowed to both of them. Despite Terumi's inital reaction, her parents were delighted to meet me since they had heard about Dustin coming to visit me in Japan and attested that trip as one of the reasons Dustin and Terumi got serious. And when I introduced myself in perfect Japanese, their smiles nearly jumped off their faces and hugged me. I made some polite small talk in Japanese and as soon as enough time had passed and it was prudent to do so, I left.

After I got back, the party was in full swing. I spent most of the night talking to the stoners who had congregated on the balcony. I met some local guy named Alex who I dismissed at first as a bumbling crack head. I met another guy named Tony who I spent some time talking about travel with.

The view from the Hilton balcony
Dave and I had a heart-to-heart about what we wanted to do with our life, where our advantages lie and what paths we now recognized as foolhardy. There was some serious weirdness going on between Chris and I under the surface. I thought he was acting like an idiot, caught up in mimicking the dispicable behavior of DORSH, pretending to be somethng he wasn't and acting the fool in the process... behavior that lasted until the end of the trip, in fact. Men of little moral bring the worst out of Chris. He is so insecure about the good that is in his heart. I don't know why, but he has a need to impress upon the hateful and the hurtful. And ever since he married and divorced Jessica (that's a long story in itself), he has gone out of his mold to be clever and funny, but is rarely either.
Even Ibbe and Yuki had fun
Usually he ends up confusing and ridiculous. I think he has the fear of being powerless in this world and in scrambling for the illusion of power, takes himself farther from it. In any case, he is like an actor who refuses to come out of character, and I refuse to encourage him since I believe it is the most horrible aspect of his personality. And so a rift is growing between us. This "new" Christian doesn't have a place in my world and he certainly doesn't need me looking down on him...

Anyhow, the party was dragging on and on and was becoming a real drag. The stories of the different guys somehow finding a way into the locked bathroom weren't that entertaining and the night was no longer young. I managed to get Dustin and a few people moving and out the door.

Don't be fooled - he's actually calculating the next possible way to embarrass me...
We hired a taxi to take us to Mad Dogs on Kalakaua Street, but any alcohol drunk after this point was kind of pointless in my opinion. Dustin was in his head about things, Dave was drunk to near incoherency and Chris was still acting the fool.

The night fizzled. I told Chris and Dave I was walking home. They were going to stay but at the last second opted to come with me. We stopped and ate some grease at Eggs & Things on the way home. Somehow made it back up to the apartment safely and passed the hell out. Tomorrow we were going to the North Shore...

 

One last note: Those words about Chris are straight out of my journal, written while the emotions that drove them from my pen were fresh. Although we've mended things since then, I felt an obligation to leave it as is for the sake of posterity. But for anyone who may be concerned, we're cool now :)

carpefunk says:
I don't think I've ever been to a wedding without alcohol :)
Posted on: Mar 15, 2008
AndiPerullo says:
Glad everything is okay now! Weddings are stressful times & then if you add alcohol...
Posted on: Mar 13, 2008
jenn79 says:
I love transcriptions from journals - they really do capture what's going on at the moment. Really liked the insights about Chris, I know a couple of guys who are the same way. =/
Posted on: Mar 13, 2008
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Another Waikiki day
Another Waikiki day
The barbarian hoard conquers the b…
The barbarian hoard conquers the …
That says: HIGHEST QUICK STOP (Hmm…
That says: HIGHEST QUICK STOP (Hm…
The Duke
The Duke
Out like a light
Out like a light
Dave arrives with a new beard
Dave arrives with a new beard
Stay out of the kitchen...
Stay out of the kitchen...
Jungin in focus, Sophiya out
Jungin in focus, Sophiya out
The calm after the storm
The calm after the storm
On the attack
On the attack
A safe picture of the bachelor p…
A "safe" picture of the bachelor …
The throne
The throne
Dustin about to get a whip cream s…
Dustin about to get a whip cream …
The view from the Hilton balcony
The view from the Hilton balcony
Even Ibbe and Yuki had fun
Even Ibbe and Yuki had fun
Dont be fooled - hes actually ca…
Don't be fooled - he's actually c…
Chris too
Chris too
Oahu
photo by: five11d