The bachelor party
Oahu Travel Blog› entry 5 of 6 › view all entries
I woke up late again and more than a little hungover. The sun was like an ultrapowered spotlight coming in through the balcony windows that even my swollen eyelids couldn't ignore. My skin felt hot and sticky. I made a grimace at Chris, who for some reason was already up and moving about the kitchen. "Coffee," I growled at him.
"No coffee, buddy."
I whimpered and hung my head. I went to the bathroom to put my eyes back in. Dustin and Terumi had already left for work, but the Korean girls' door was still closed. When I came out Chris talked me into going down to use the building gym with him. The apartment was like an oven, so I wasn't about to stay there. I downed a couple glasses of water with gusto before heading out.
We headed out to Waikiki beach again and found a spot on the crowded beach. I tried to bodysurf the little waves but that morning they were beyond pitiful so I gave up. Chris came out for a minute but immediately went back in. I got bored and joined him. We were laying on our towels when out of nowhere Chris let out a monsterous sneeze.
I figured it was just a cross between fatigue, hangover and foreign air. I suggested we go back to the apartment so Chris could take a nap, since this was the night of Dustin's big bachelor party and he couldn't miss it, sick or no. We stopped at a Burger King on the way back (we were hurting on cash) since we hadn't eaten yet. Inside there were all sorts of plaques on the wall, like Fastest Staff etc, including one that said Highest Quick Stop. Your guess is as good as mine on that one. We ate our burgers (they were awful) out on the grass bluff between the beach and the street and watched white pigeons mating. It's worth noting that all the pigeons on Oahu are white, which lends to the feeling that you're really breathing clean air.
Our friend, Dave, was due to arrive, so I gave him a call as we walked back to make sure he knew how to get to Dustin's house. He said that someone named Mike Steel was going to pick him up and give him a ride. I told him Steel was cool and to give me a call when he got into town. We passed a giant statue of the Duke and saw that people were throwing their old leis onto his outstretched arms. Chris and I made a mental note to grab our leis before we left and throw them up onto Duke too.
By the time we got back to the apartment, Chris was pretty sick. He immediately crashed out and I turned on CNN to catch the Super Tuesday results. Obama had almost caught up to Hillary.
My phone rang and Dave told me he was at the Hilton drinking in Steel's room. I told him I had to pass on the alcohol. I was taking a pleasant rest between last night and the ungodly amounts of liquor I knew I'd be consuming tonight. We instead made plans to go get something to eat. I met Dave at the Hilton and almost didn't recognized him. He was rocking a Hemmingway (a full beard). I told him that Chris was sick and needed some shut eye.
We killed a couple hours drinking and watching CNN until the Korean girls came home with a bunch of food. I was excited for the Bulgogi (Korean BBQ) dinner they had promised to make everyone. They said Hi to Dave and made themselves busy in the kitchen. Christian, probably smelling Sophiya in the room, woke up feeling better but still sick. Eventually Dustin came home and the four of us all toasted to our friendship.
Dustin filled us in on the plan. After some confusion DORSH finally took the reigns and arranged for the party to start at his and Steel's hotel room at the Hilton. Bear in mind, reader, that this was Probowl weekend and that the Hilton was going to be loaded with football players and their entourage... we knew that we in store for a wild ride.The important thing, Dustin said, was that we all left the apartment before Terumi got home.
Dustin went to work out at the gym and when he came back he announced he had to get something off his chest. He said if any of us had anything to say, just say it now or get the hell out of his apartment. I laughed, not thinking he was serious and he shot a look in my direction. "I'm fucking serious," he said. The room suddenly got cold. We asked him what he meant and he told us that late last night after we all got home, he (in drunken stupor) thought he heard us talking about how wasted he was. And then swore he heard me say, "He deserves it anyway," or some shit like that. We sat there blinking at him.
So we teased him relentlessly until we were all laughing about it.
We got dressed in our best and waited around, but the girls still weren't finished cooking. Dustin lobbied for us to leave but we reminded him of the dinner. Not wanting to hurt the Korean girls' feelings, he relented to wait a little longer (he's a softy at heart) but I could tell he was getting impatient. It was going on 8pm already. Sure enough, when Terumi came home and we were still there, she was upset. Not in any way that you or I could detect, but I'm sure as hell Dustin picked up on it. Terumi had brought with her her brother-in-law, Yuki, and Yuki's friend Ibbe (pronounced E-bay). I chatted with them in Japanese until finally the dinner was finished and we ate.
We left immediately after that, taking Yuki and Ibbe with us.
Hmm, now what to say about the bachelor party that needs to be said? The following may or may not be embellished depending upon who is reading this. If you're Terumi, I'm making this all up for the sake of a good laugh. Ha ha.... ha.
DORSH hired a stripper and, to make a long story short, the party sucked. She was this 40 year old Vietnamese woman with very fake boobs. Furthmore, she was mental.
I suddenly realized that I had left the cigars at the apartment. Not wanting to freak Dustin out, I quietly slipped out the door and ran back. I knocked on the door and a very surprised Terumi let me in. I could see embarrassment and accusation in her eyes, but she let me in anyway. I found out why. He parents were in the room and they were in the middle of dinner.
After I got back, the party was in full swing. I spent most of the night talking to the stoners who had congregated on the balcony. I met some local guy named Alex who I dismissed at first as a bumbling crack head. I met another guy named Tony who I spent some time talking about travel with.
Anyhow, the party was dragging on and on and was becoming a real drag. The stories of the different guys somehow finding a way into the locked bathroom weren't that entertaining and the night was no longer young. I managed to get Dustin and a few people moving and out the door.
The night fizzled. I told Chris and Dave I was walking home. They were going to stay but at the last second opted to come with me. We stopped and ate some grease at Eggs & Things on the way home. Somehow made it back up to the apartment safely and passed the hell out. Tomorrow we were going to the North Shore...
One last note: Those words about Chris are straight out of my journal, written while the emotions that drove them from my pen were fresh. Although we've mended things since then, I felt an obligation to leave it as is for the sake of posterity. But for anyone who may be concerned, we're cool now :)