assorted witterings on nothing in particular
Los Alamos Travel Blog› entry 3 of 4 › view all entries
January 20th, 2008 – by: nemitode
howlings and yowlings and crashing about, a trail of blood and fur leading from the forced entrance to the basement..
whatever it was, can operate doors now.. it seems even the massive oversized bunny rabbits were no match for this creature..
in other news, customer services are, it turns out, useless bastards right across the globe.. just when you think help is at hand, your phone call is randomly and without notice, transferred to a family of dutch lesbians, living in a swamp somewhere, while emails bounce futiley and desperately across an internet of Lies, before arriving in a email box somewhere in the bowels of the earth..
rivalled only by the problems i've had with Royal Mail, during the infamous We Threw Your Package into the Sea, and Stole Your Trousers incident, i was perhaps unfairly unpleasant to the tentative woman who was unfortunate enough to receive my call, yet however i find it sometimes hard to tolerate such blatent Idiocy from people wo i assumed are paid to know better.
So anyway - my homeward flight calls in 24 hours, i can only hope there isn't a repeat of last years, sleep deprivation fuelled journey through Gatwick and the London underground..
excerpt from last years blog ----
the fear began as we left albuquerque, in a flimsy unsubstantial plane, directed across the tarmac by an insane mexican teenager who couldn't stop laughing at himself as he howled tunelessly through an oversized traffic cone, whilst attempting semaphore with glowsticks..
then to denver, free this time from the horrors of explaining the purpose of my existence to unsmiling immigration officials, i was nearly trapped forever in the enormous gravitational field of a family of texans.
then to the plane that would carry me over the ocean.
joy at last in the form of three seats to myself, i made myself a nest and struggled to overcome my fear of the inflight chicken.
the ham sandwich i had to seal away forever in a hazardous bag, in case it snuck up on me as i slept..
and then weasels. yes. hundreds of them. they poured through the plastic flaps onto the baggage carousel, all gnawing and toothy. security guards fell to the wave of enraged fur, children crushed under the weight of thousands weasels with nothing to declare.
fearsome indeed. only the ham sandwich flung from me as i ran saved me from certain doom.
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