lots of stuff on my mind...

Ubud Travel Blog

 › entry 13 of 34 › view all entries
There is a lot of crazy stuff going on, I tell ya.

Yesterday was mellow enough. Spent the whole day on the computer on Chaz's veranda trying to force myself to believe that I should go to Australia. I emailed schools, people on travbuddy, couchsurfing.com, and even fruit picking companies for work. I applied for an electronic visa. I don't know why I was trying so hard. Leah and BJ finally told me essentially to just do it. But something was holding me back. And by the time the evening ended yesterday, I came to peace with everything.

At the crazy hippie party the other night, the only person I actually met was this nice swede named Johan. He came to meet Leah, BJ, and me at the film at Yoga Barn last night. He drove me home and we chatted for a bit. He is yet another one of these spiritual people staying here for months really working on himself. Imagine the people you know who exude a soft and peaceful spirit, and he is one of them. He was so calm and his voice and what he was telling me his life was like somehow converted into me deciding that I don't need Australia now. That big cities like Melbourne and Sydney are not what this trip are about. I need to stay on a budget and really soak up what the third world has to teach and show that are so very different than anything in my own home. So you ask where I am going after this? I'm actually contemplating extending my visa for Indo for another month.

Last night was quite enjoyable. Leah, BJ, and I had dinner at the Yoga Barn, which is the beautiful airy space right next some rice fields in town. The full moon was rising when we got there at 7:00 right over the palm trees. I'll put a picture of it another day. They had a lovely buffet dinner of fish, corn on the cob, veggies, and fruit. And then every other Monday night, they show movies in the yoga studio. Last night was the "Deserts" and "Arctic" episodes of Planet Earth. Ironically, those were the only two episodes Id seen before, but very enjoyable nonetheless.

When Johan left after our chat last night, my mind and emotions and everything were astir. I tell you, I am not one of these healing, new age types, but there is something in the air here in Ubud specifically that is really trippy. Really trippy. Everyone here is so conscious. They are here with a purpose. They are healthy and searching for something more than pubs and good photo shots from their travels. They aren't even really travelers. They are seekers. When I first got here, Chaz said that this place is like a mirror to all that you are, and now I know exactly what he means. You have to face yourself here. And that is scary. Really scary, but also filled with so much opportunity.

The locals are like this too. The driver from across the way came over to hang out today, and we were talking about how every Balinese person is a believer, and that he does not understand how people in the West don't believe in the spirit. He said that he gets that Westerners want money. Here, he said, people want to believe first and money comes later. It is totally fascinating. And I think I have finally crossed over the hump to engage in all of this a bit more.

Moving on...
Today began with breakfast at Kafe with Jill. She has been enjoying her shamanic work and is finished with it tomorrow. I think that after the weekend she will move into my place for a bit, which is great! I surprisingly have not spent much time by myself, and I will love the company.

After brekkie, I went over to Barbara Jean's for a bit. I think that may be the last time I see her since she leaves tomorrow for her 10 day meditation retreat. I have to say that I was taken aback by her yesterday afternoon. Knowing that I am jewish, she begins a topic of conversation as follows:
"So what is up with Jewish marriages and all the JAPs who boss their husbands around"? Furthermore, she went into impersonations of "typical Jewish Long Island women". These are the types of situations where I ponder how to deal. Do you tell the person they are being an asshole and anti-Semetic? I went with the approach: "Well, my friends' marriages aren't like that and I don't know people like that". Whatever....she didn't get it.

So when I returned from visiting and breakfast early this afternoon, I hopped on the internet. I am beside myself to report that I received an email telling me that my dear friend Brian Park passed away on Sat night in his sleep. Oh dear sweet Brian! He was one of my closest friends in LA. Loads of fun. Always up for a good time. Helpful. A jewel of a person. He didn't lead the healthiest of lifestyles, and leaves this world without any family. Just forty years young. I've been a mess the whole day.

When I got to my first yoga class today, I wasn't even sure that I was going to be able to focus. My anxiety was up from the tragic news. But like always, yoga cures a lot of stuff, and it was a great class. I'm so thankful to Leah and my own decisions to get in the groove here and start yoga.

Tonight is winding down with my first night of the whole trip making dinner for myself at home and probably watching a movie. Despite the news about Brian, I think I have turned a corner of what this trip is going to be like and what I want out of it. For that, and for having Brian in my life, I am thankful.
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photo by: eddie8498