Fardau's story - Sunday the 2nd of March, 2008

Warmenhuizen Travel Blog

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At the restaurant! Marco - Mum - Nel - Dad - Djuri - Me

Today me and my family went to the province of North-Holland. We were going to meet up with Fardau & Marco at Nel’s house in Warmenhuizen. At first I wasn’t looking forward to it that much because I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t too happy to watch the video from the trip again and showing all the pictures and talking about it so much. Most of the time I just tell people who ask me about it to read this blog. So much easier for me then to tell the whole story over and over. I don’t care who reads about it but I don’t feel like talking about it to everyone that passess by. I don’t feel comfortable about that! But when we got there it was just really nice. It was so good to see them again.

Me & Fardau
We watched our film and also their film and we talked about the situation Fardau is in a lot.

 

Fardau's story

In 2005 Fardau went to Sri Lanka to search for her biological mother. After following the leads in the adoption papers she found the woman who she thought was her mother. (Radage Babynona, dutch people who watch Spoorloos>> this name could sound familiar to you! This woman is the biological mother of the Dutch boy Kumar and she was one of the Spoorloos programs when Kumar went to search for his mother, but that was some years ago!) Fardau was there together with her adoption parents and they also recognised Radage Babynona from back in 1985 when they met her when they visited Sri Lanka to take home Fardau.

Fardau & Marco
(Fardau is a Frysian name, her birthname is Ganga)
Fardau was so happy to have found her birthmother but to check everything she decided to do a DNA-test with the mother. At first Radage Babynona didn’t want to do a test but later on she agreed and they travelled to Colombo together to have blood taken from them for the DNA-testing at the lab in Colombo. While travelling to Colombo they stayed at an hotel together and Fardau even shared a bed with Radage Babynona. This is something that might sounds strange but that is just what she did in that moment. She was so happy and there were so many emotions involved..

Then after a few weeks the results from the DNA-test came in.

My brother Djuri
. and they were unbelievable. Radage Babynone was not the biological mother of Fardau.. I can only imagine how that must’ve felt.. So what to do next? She tried to get some more information trough this woman to find out who her real mother was and where she could find her. Radage Babynona then admitted to have given away a child that wasn't hers. Probably for money but she hasn't said anything about her motives yet.. At first Radage Babaynona told Fardau that her biological mother had died, but later she contacted Andrew to tell him that she had lied and that her mother is still alive. So Fardau was very confused but decided to do everything she could to find out more about her real mother and she went back to Sri Lanka. Andrew had already done some research and at this point he found out about all the scemes that were going on in ’85 and about Soma (Can never remember her last name, way too difficult) who was also involved with my adoption and then I learned that I was so lucky to have the right adoption papers, because this woman Soma was the woman who recruted “fake” mothers to do the adoption procedure. She was the one who set everything up together with her sister who worked for the government at that time and could easily mess with the adoption papers, since she was the one who had to sign for them. So Soma and her sister were the ones who took advantage of the biological mother, the children and also the adoption families. Next to that there was another sceme going on, at the other end of the line. The woman who was the contactperson of the Dutch (and other nationalities) adoption families once they arrived in Sri Lanka was also making a lot of money out if this. Her and her German boyfriend demanded money and gifts from everyone and were also involved with wrong adoption papers and hiding information from the mothers and the adoption families. (This woman went by the name of Mrs. Dawn, some say she has died, some say she lives in Germany) Both con-women were discovered. The locals found out about what Soma had done and they were so angry. As a result of all this they burned down her house during wich Soma’s 4 sons were killed. The adoption organisation from my country that worked with Mrs. Dawn (Kind & Toekomst, the one I was also adopted with) found out about her ways and they found another agency to handle the adoptions in the future. It was found out during the adoption of my friend Mira. While her parents were in Sri Lanka to adopt her they found out something was up and then Mira and her parents couldn’t leave the country and had to stay for some more weeks untill things were sorted out. Soma isn’t alive anymore but I don’t know how she died. This is bad news since Soma would know more about Fardau’s biological mother, but I doubt that she ever would’ve helped out with that. Ofcourse it was all her fault to start with. Fardau did meet the husband of Soma while she was in Sri Lanka, who fully admitted the fact that Soma did those bad things. He couldnt help her any further though :(.

Fardau’s only hope then was Radage Babynona. A baby does not suddenly appear out of thin air. Ofcourse she knows where the baby came from! But at that point she just didn’t say anything. In the meantime in the Netherlands, Fardau’s story was published in a newspaper in the north of the country. By coincidence the mother of another boy from the Netherlands that is also adopted (Kumar) read the story and she contacted Fardau. Several years before that, her son Kumar had searched for his biological mother trough the Dutch tv-show “Spoorloos”. A tv show that tracks down lost family members and also does a lot of adoption cases. Back then they found the mother of Kumar wich was.. Radage Babynona!! Kumar’s mother was excited because she thought maybe Fardau was a sister of her son Kumar. But then Kumar’s mother heard about the rest of Fardau’s story and then als Kumar and his family got worried. What if the same thing had happened in Kumar’s case? They had never done a DNA-test so that could also be the case with him. Now we know that Kumar is the biological son of Radage Babynona. Just before I went to Sri Lanka a DNA-test was performed and now there is proof. Then something else happened in Sri Lanka. A woman contacted Andrew. Her name is Thilika. She told Andrew that in the year of 1985 she gave birth to a girl. She gave that girl away to Radage Babynone who gave the child up for adoption. So this had to be it. This had to be the mother of Fardau. Another DNA-test was performed.. and it wasn’t a match either! So that means that Radage Babynona gave another child away that wasn’t hers!!!

Again something she hadn’t told. We still don’t know who the girl is that really is the biological daughter of Thilika. I think we won’t know untill this girl decides to go look for her biological mother.. Some other stuff Radage Babynona lied about: When Fardau asked her about it, Babynona claimed she didn’t have a sister, in the Spoorloos program with Kumar there is a sister present! She is on camera talking about her sister and the sister is also there in the film! In the program with Kumar everything had to be kept a secret. The meeting, talking about the adoption. The husbad of Babynona didn’t know anything about any of the adoptions! Not the adoption from the first son Kumar, who is her real son, but also not about the other ones (2 till so far, Fardau and some unknown girl from ’85) back then everything had to be done in secret. At this point in 2008 the husband of Radage Babynona has left her. He has found out about everything that happened and he left. So she pretty much lies to everyone in her life. Right now the story she sticks to is that she got Fardau from someone else at a busstation in the middle of the night, but she says she can’t say anything else about it. She doesn’t say that there’s isn’t anything more to tell, but just that she can’t. So what I feel is that the biological mother is still around or atleast someone who was involved in this otherwise there would be no reason for Babynona to still keep information away from Fardau. Radage Babynona mentioned later that Soma was also involved, but she only told Andrew that after Soma had died. So they were too late to get to Soma and try and get information from her. Very convenient.. Right now it’s just so hard. Where to go next? The area around Babynona? Babynona claimed that she got the baby at a busstation when the baby was only 2/3 days old. That would mean she would’ve been born in the area wich narrows down the options since there aren’t a lot of towns in the area. It’s not like in ’85 they could get a baby from one town to another very fast without being seen. ( I can imagine the adoption had to be kept a secret because of the shame) But then again.. who can guarantee that the busstation story isn’t another lie made up by Babynona?..!! Next to Fardau's story there are many other people who face the same problems when they go looking for their parents. Another girl was recently in the Spoorloos program who experienced the same thing. The woman in the birthpapers was found and she was actually crying on tv being so happy to have found her daughter in the Netherlands and then DNA-testing also showed that it wasn't really the biological mother. Unbelievable..

 

I feel so sorry for her.. Fardau is such a sweet person and I really hope things will be better for her soon. I really want her to find her biological family and I feel so bad about not doing more to help her with that. The problem is that I dont know how to do that! All her papers are false and all the people who are involded are keeping information from her or lying to her all the time. It became pretty emotional when we talked about all that. I really want Fardau to find her family and I hope that will happen sometime in the future. Whenever I get the chance to visit Sri Lanka again I hope I can do something for her like spread posters and pictures and talk to people who might know more. Her case is a result of all the bad stuff that went down in ’85 when the adoption papers were being altered and people were earning money from it. It’s hard to see how she suffers from all this and not just her but also Marco ofcourse. They want it so much (ofcourse) and it’s awful that it’s not working out! All caused by this one person who obviously knows more about it but refuses to talk. I can’t believe that she won’t help Fardau! What good does it do this woman to not say anything even after 23 years! She must be hiding something big otherwise she would’ve talked! Atleast that is how I feel about it.. But I have hope and good faith that it will be ok someday. Maybe it will take some time but I believe that it will happen. At some point somebody will come along who is not afraid to talk or maybe somebody has second thoughts about their involvement. Fardau feels the same way. She says that she rather has faith and it doesn’t happen than that she doesn’t have any faith at all. I understand her view on this so much.. This visit made me realise again how lucky I am.. Life is good!

 

After talking some more about our travels and our travelplans for the future we went to a very nice restaurant for dinner. We had some fun talking about the differences between the 3 provinces (North-Holland where Nel lives, Friesland where Fardau & Marco live and ofcourse North-Brabant where I live) and there are soooo many :). It so funny to here them talk in Frysian! I have no clue about what they’re saying around 90% of the time! We decided that we will all meet up in Uden next time so right now we will discuss about a good date for that and then I will take them to dinner at Bella Italia ofcourse!! Then my colleagues and friends can see the people who made this all possible for me and helped me trough it. Even though we didn’t know each other before all this (that means that a year ago we had no clue that the other one even excisted) we have shared so much over the past months. It’s strange how fast things can change in your life and how close we all are now because of everything that happened. I can’t wait to welcome them in my town :)

lovely_lori88 says:
Wow that is such an amazing story and so sad. I feel so bad for Fardau and the best of luck to her in the future and finding her bilogical family!
Posted on: Jun 01, 2008
vosking says:
Snik, snik, snik....
Ben diep geraakt door dit verhaal over Fardau. Ze heeft met recht alle pech in de wereld om haar moeder te vinden. Zet me wel aan het denken, kennissen van ons hebben in diezelfde tijd ook 2 adoptie kinderen gehaald. Een jongen en een meisje. Geen biologische broer en zus. Zijn naam is Robin, haar naam weet ik niet meer. Zal het eens aan m'n ouders vragen. En kijken of ik ze terug kan vinden op de Hyves. Misschien zitten hun wel met hetzelfde probleem? Laat je nog wel weten.
Knufs Charlotteke.
XXX
Posted on: Mar 05, 2008
skydiver says:
Wow, what a story.
Posted on: Mar 05, 2008
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At the restaurant! Marco - Mum - N…
At the restaurant! Marco - Mum - …
Me & Fardau
Me & Fardau
Fardau & Marco
Fardau & Marco
My brother Djuri
My brother Djuri
17,080 km (10,613 miles) traveled
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