Almost died again

Amsterdam Travel Blog

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I almost died (again for about the 5th time in 4 days).  I was wandering around the city (intoxicated) again, when something caught my eye across the street (don't remember what it was, but I know I needed to get there).  I knew I needed to turn right to cross the street.  While a sharp 90 degree turn to the right would have been the most efficient method of turning, I instead stumbled to the left 90 degrees before making a wide arcing 180 degree loop back to the right and then zigzagged toward the street.  As I was about to step onto the street I heard this (annoying) beeping sound coming from a (fast moving) train.  I thought (naturally) that I should probably run across the street before the (now closer, still fast moving) train caused me to delay my arrival at my new destination by an unacceptably long (5 second) period of time.  I managed 1 step onto the street when something (a railroad track) caused me to lose my footing and stumble face first onto the pavement.  After a few (failed) attempts at righting myself, I began crawling (more like slithering) on all fours like a dog (more like a snake) on a smooth linoleum floor.  I suppose my progress was inadequate, because my brother-in-law felt the need to grab me (by the seat of my pants) and help (drag) me out of the way.  I'm not certain, but I think the train driver and my brother-in-law overreacted.  I had plenty of time (at least a full (or at least part of a) second) to get out of the way. 

Disclaimer: Even thought this may sound like an entry from an autobiography, it is actually an entry from a biography.  These events were recorded by witnesses (my brother-in-law), since the main subject (me) involved in the incident did not (clearly) remember the incident until the next day, when something triggered him to ask why his clothes were ripped and dirty, and his hands, elbows, knees, shins, hips and face were not looking or feeling as they should.


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photo by: pearcetoyou