Boring, Oregon - Not Just a State of Mind!

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Pretty Boring

Boring, Oregon, I have heard of it many times, I have even been through it  twice and didn’t even know it!  Supposedly Boring has a population of 12,800, but after hanging out there, I may have to doubt those figures a little…okay…a lot!  I didn’t see many houses or apartments and we went down the back roads to get a true feel, we left nothing unturned.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

 

My friend Angie and I were talking about how Oregon is a strange place.  Portland is a decent sized city with many larger cities in the surrounding area, but next to those large cities will be these tiny towns tucked in there, it’s a whole new world!  Boring was brought up in this conversation and my curiosity was peaked!  I was sold!  So we decided we would check out Boring while I was in town on Thanksgiving break.

So Close, You Can Feel the Excitement!
  We figured it wouldn’t take long and let me tell you, we were right!

 

First off, we started in Clackamas because we were on another mission.  We were looking for the Jones Soda Holiday collection or the Seahawk’s Special Pack.  Why, because they have disgusting flavors such as dirt, ham and turf soda.  These babies have been calling my name for weeks, but I have never in the few years they have sold them been able to find them.  Sure you can buy them on line, but they come with a shipping cost of $19.  No way!  I just can’t bring myself to do it, even for dirt soda!

 

So, we decided that it was time to go to Boring because we couldn’t have the whole day filled with disappointment!  So off we went.

Pretty Boring Church
  The road towards Boring is familiar to us since you have to go through Clackamas which is a big city, but following the formula of the Portland Metro Area we soon passed through a small town, Damascus.  Actually Damascus and Boring get lumped together a lot.  I heard they even share a post office!

 

We soon saw the sign declaring Boring was coming up, I was excited to see a Safeway which is a grocery store on the West Coast, but I was quickly informed by Angie that this was Damascus.  Okay, no big deal so I waited for another mile to see the Promised Land. 

 

And there it was in all of its glory, a country road with lots of open land, followed by a block and a half of buildings, followed by more country road and more open land.

Boring Post Office
  This quick tour took us all of 45 seconds.  We kept driving to make sure this wasn’t a mistake and even ran into a very pretty church, but this church was not the property of Boring, it belong to the next town.

 

So, we doubled back and saw the sign for the post office which was after the fire house.  I have to say that the fire house was impressive and was very up to date.  At least the citizens of Boring would be very safe if a fire swept through their town.  The facilities were quite nice.  If this blog inspires you to move to Boring, know that they are looking for volunteer fire fighters right now, so in time you may be able to move up to a paying position.

 

After our visit to the fire house, we went next door to the Post Office.

Horses, Eh?
  It was very difficult to see it because it was hidden in the woods.  Yep, the whole thing is covered in foliage.  At least it must be cool in the summer.  It was also interesting to see that the rumors were true.  Boring and Damascus really do share a Post Office.  Whew, one mystery solved onto the next.  Where were all the people?

 

There are supposedly 12,800 people living here, but where were they hiding?  We decided to take more back roads to see what we could find. Apparently, there are a lot of fruit stands but of course they were closed for the season.  So we kept on driving, fruit trees and open fields with a random house and barn seemed to be a popular visual.  Luckily the monotony was soon broken!  There were horses for sale!  Oddly enough, the horses in Boring appeared to be what I would call Jacuzzis (see picture).

For Sale!
  We drove on, finally we found a horse, but he belonged to another farm.  Ah, so many Boring mysteries.

 

But we were running out of day light and we hadn’t even visited the “city center” yet.  We came upon a grouping of stores.  The first was one of the two bars in town.  They had two large screen TVs advertised to get the people’s butts in the seats.  But in case that wasn’t enough to grab your attention they also had a blow up doll in the window wearing a bikini.  Yeah, nothing like a well endowed blow up doll mixed with football to keep them coming back.  The first round is on me!

 

Ladies, don’t feel left out there is another bar on the other side of town (one block down) that has ladies night on Wednesday and Thursday.

Better Than Hooters!
  There isn’t football but there is karaoke, so don’t fret!  Next to the bar we were delighted to see a hair salon & spa.  But upon further inspection we found that this “spa” was also a restaurant.  Whoa!  I hope they wear hair nets!

 

Angie and I wanted to experience Boring, but unfortunately there wasn’t much going on.  A hair salon/restaurant was just not appealing to us so we decided to get water and candy from a local mini mart.  The first one we eyed was very old and very dark.  Not a good combo so we headed to the one down the street. 

 

It was pleasant and had a nice array of items such as refreshments, hats, pins, blankets, fishing items, household goods and reading material.

Eat While You Freshen Up!
  Angie decided on water and some Skittles, I passed as I had had that exact meal about two hours earlier.  The owner was nice, but the place was freezing.  I wondered how this guy stayed opened; the place was deserted maybe that was why the heat was off…

 

Angie couldn’t find her money, so unfortunately she had to use her debit card for the sum $1.50.  Yep, $1.50!  It’s the little things in life that make me laugh.  Unfortunately she got charged .50 for the transaction; the guy had to make money one way or another.  As we were leaving the cashier grabbed a Hershey bar and went back to his magazine.  It’s good to be the boss!

 

While doing research, Angie had read of a place that was called the $3.

For the Future Minds of America!
00 Store that was on the border of Boring and Damascus.  For some reason the idea of this place thrilled her, so we had to go.  But before we did, we needed to document and celebrate the fact that we had been in Boring and had lasted more than one hour!  So we drove down to the sign that had welcomed us to this wonderful town, put the hazard lights on and started letting the good times roll.

 

We took many photos of the Welcome sign, some with the sign by itself and others with us posing next to it.  The most interesting thing about the sign was that it had been used many times previously to sell things.  You could even see the old letters peeling under the brand spanking new ones.  Hmm…not exactly what one would expect, but this was Boring and it was a place of mystery and intrigue!

 

So, before anyone could call the police on two weirdos who had done about 50 U-Turns and who were spotted snapping photos by the sign, we hopped in the car and drove ÂĽ mile down to the strip mall.

Indeed!
  I had my suspicions that this place was not on the border as I had read, one because it was too modern and two there was a sign advertising that Boring was a mile up the road.  Still we didn’t care, though we were a little disappointed to see that the $3 Store had become a Dollar Tree.  $1 is better than paying $3, but it wasn’t the same.

 

Still we went in and enjoyed all the Dollar Tree goodness which came in the form of Christmas items galore!  That and party favors, candy, socks and other assorted goods. I am all for the dollar store but had to do a double take at the display for $1 pregnancy tests.  You know, somethings just aren’t good bargains even at a dollar, my friend and this was one of them.

 

So after grabbing some shower caps and Snowmen Peeps Angie and I called it a day.

Only a Dollar!
  A person can only have so much excitement in one day before they have to take a break.  Yep, Boring had lived up to its name!  Being back at work today I began writing this because I had nothing to do and was going out of my mind!  But something dawned on me that changed my life for 5 seconds. That deep thought was, there is a little Boring everywhere, even in NYC.  Rock on Boring!

binky says:
Well, I could always sneak the half price drinks out, run down the street and watch the game. I'm not missing the game even for karaoke! Have fun in Portland!
Posted on: Feb 15, 2010
binky says:
That's right Cowboy! I forgot about your Oregon connection, you sure know Boring when you see it! It lived up to the name and then some! And as for ladies night Carl? I can always go back for a crazy time! Maybe we should have a Travbuddy meet up there! Whoo hoo!
Posted on: Feb 11, 2010
surfingcowboy says:
This blog made me sleepy....how Boring, ok that was bad. I grew up not too far from here so beleive me I know how boring Boring can be, along with the rest of the state.
Posted on: Feb 11, 2010
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Pretty Boring
Pretty Boring
So Close, You Can Feel the Excitem…
So Close, You Can Feel the Excite…
Pretty Boring Church
Pretty Boring Church
Boring Post Office
Boring Post Office
Horses, Eh?
Horses, Eh?
For Sale!
For Sale!
Better Than Hooters!
Better Than Hooters!
Eat While You Freshen Up!
Eat While You Freshen Up!
For the Future Minds of America!
For the Future Minds of America!
Indeed!
Indeed!
Only a Dollar!
Only a Dollar!
Christmas is Coming Early!
Christmas is Coming Early!
What is a Cut Up?!?
What is a Cut Up?!?
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Boring
photo by: binky