Nestle Classic Chocolate for Men

After all of these years of attempting to be a foaming-at-the-mouth, testosterone-induced, take-no-prisoners, manly stud-bolt by NOT eating chocolate, the good people at Nestle have, in their good sense, made a product that will not offend my Y chromosomes.  Yes, chocolate for men!  Not only is this chocolate marketed for men, but the back of the packaging clearly shows this candy is not for women.

This got me wondering.  Maybe this candy had some extra special masculine ingredients?  Maybe there, confined within the chocolate was a powerful combination of Viagra, Propecia, Saw Palmetto and Horny Goat Weed (yes, there is such an herb).  After doing some research on the internet, no such special ingredients, just chocolate.   Maybe this chocolate liked to smoke Marlboros and watch football?  Maybe it liked to drink beer and get into fights with other candies when it felt threaten?  I kept waiting for it do something special and it never did. 

I decided that my imagination had gotten a little carried away from me.  It was possible that there was something special with the packaging itself.  Maybe if some dude saved up enough wrappers, Nestle would send the guy some power tools?  Nope.   Nothing just chocolate for men.

So, i tried the chocolate expecting expecting it to turn me into John Wayne Holmes, but nothing.  The chocolate itself was good and i thought it was something that my mom would like.