the goal.... or was it...
I made it down to Rosario after spending a couple of days with my friends in Cordoba. Argentina is spectacular. The variety of landscape is amazing. The wine country around Salta and Cordoba country with tons of small towns all around in the most amazing landscape.
Argentine people are so unbelievably nice. So welcoming and friendly. Very easy to make friends with. Not to mention that the men are by far the hottest men in south america I think, colombians run a very close second.
I have been in Rosario for a week now. Looking for work, trying to prepare myself to stay. I actually made contact and got in with the Municipality. They were awesome and welcoming me as a volunteer. The only problem was..... I still wanted to go back to Colombia. After four months of traveling, I could only think of going back to the country I enjoyed the most.
I wanted to see so much more, but my journeys are less about touring as they are working towards something.
To make long story short or a short story long. I came to the decision to return to Colombia. I came down here for a reason. I went with my gut and I´m going with my gut. I really can´t explain it. I´ll figure it all out someday...
But I did want to share something.....
Why now?
It has been years
more than 12 to be exact
since my pen touched paper
So, why now?
have I something to say?
Things in my head
thoughts
words that need to be said
No words can express
Afraid to say
I don't know how to share
If I did, would anyone care?
who would listen
or try to understand
All too busy
thinking of themselves
thinking if anyone is thinking of them
Just like me.
What I do.... Not want....
I don't want it
at least I say I don't
The thing everyone is looking for
Why?
not enough
wanting more
something different
something new
to satisfy
what they want
Not enough
never will be
Always looking
for what I want
When I know
it will never be enough
That's why
I don't want it
At least I say I don't
Disturbed
I read a book that made me think
About what people are thinking
We're all disturbed
I think.
Because of the thinking
Never saying what they think
Where are they from? The thoughts
Just sad
Because they're trapped
They, us, we, thoughts
We're all disturbed
I think.
Nothing New
It's all been done before
nothing new
everything old
It's been here before
nothing new
We like to think we are
creating, saying, writing, doing
something new
It's all been done before
We have ideas of ourselves
of our place
here. now.
I too, I'm not new
i've been here before
This point
in time
from the past
I've said this before
this is nothing new
Tomorrow it will be said again
by someone new
Please
I want someone to see me
see how special I am
I want someone to know
how special I can be
I'll walk proud
Say smart things
Buy expensive clothes
Talk sweet
Act nice
Pretend to be strong
Whatever you want
please just see me
Whatever your looking for
that's what I'll be
If you would only see me
Please
Oh god
Can someone?
See me?
Please!
On the streets
They send them to ask
for this, for that
sell this, sell that
Why don't they ask themselves?
who are they
where are they
I never see them
It's easier to send them
to be refused
Easier
than being refused
They don't know
they're doing what they're told
doing what they think they should
Did they do the same
when they were young?
What they were told
They don't know
It's easier that way
Could it be?
Were they here before?
Did others find out?
Are they the same?
It doesn't make sense
None of it
Look around
A truth.
Everyone - almost everyone
doesn't know
They do
Were they here before?
They're hiding
what they know
Look around
Everyone - almost everyone
doesn't know
The truth.
Something isn't right
Things don't add up
Someone knows
The Truth.
Do I know?
No.
That's why I mentioned it
Something just isn't right
Too strong
It's so strong
we all can feel it
trying to fill it
Because it's so strong
Why can't we fill it
Why can't we feel it
We're trying to fill it
....feel it
We can't
because it's so strong
Waiting
Do people see
do they see me
Wonder if they know
the truth
of what we're told
to believe
If truth could speak
would they hear
If it were a light
would it be bright
Enough to see
the truth
Should I say what I know
or wait to see if they see me
Delusion
It's taking over me
running to
not from
Every place
I go
It's there
Every turn
waiting
Will I find it? Really.
Will it find me? Huh.........
Gotta keep moving
I hope I find it
If I keep moving
Maybe I'll find it
What would I know?
Something's wrong
Very wrong inside
high
low
happy
sad
moving fast
moving slow
Freud would say
it's because of my dad
that's why I'm so sad
I don't know
i dont think so
I never knew him
but, that's what he would say, anyways
What would I know
he wrote books
He talked a lot
he wrote a lot
about people who were sad, mostly
What would I know
I never knew him
I'm sad
because of my dad?
Guess he knows more than me
that's what he would say
Anyways.
Not the same
I don't like it
the way it makes me feel
Smiling
when you don't mean it
Grateful
when it's insulting
Doing
when you really don't want to
Saying yes
when inside your screaming no
Lying down
when you long for the strength to stand
Accepting
when it's not real
Permiting
when you want to push
Laughing
when you want to cry
I really hate it
the way it makes me feel
Always
Silent
when I burn
to fight
For myself
A question
What if we were to turn
everything inside
from the life behind
from the world we know
Into one question
What would we ask?
if no one was listening
but, everyone we wanted could hear
the question
What would it be
That one question?
Rosario
It's what I came here for
I was happy to have a place
Eight months ago
A goal
It's what I came here for
So....
Why?
Do I want to go
Again.
What am I going for?
Another name
Another goal
Is it just
Another name
Another goal
Another place to be
Where I'm not… now
What am I going for?
Again.
The journey to the End
What, Let it out?
Is that what this journey's about
Years, months, weeks, miles
Just to let it out
Is that what this is all about?
Been through a lot
Just to let it out
Knew then
Needed to find my voice again
So much time has passed
This far, this long
Just to let it out
Is that what this is all about?
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