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October 23rd, 2007 – by: jasonhoffman
Warning, the events that are depicted are true and accurate. Artistic license was not taken, however, this does not account for any real or imagined delusion on the part of the author. Additionally, names may have been changed to protect the innocent, though not necessarily, as the author may later actually want to reconnect with the real people.
In the interest of keeping this journal interesting to the author, as well as any potential readers, the author intends to relate events and thoughts as they unfold. Because he does not really care about listing an itinerary and wants to avoid entries like: "then I went to X, followed by Y, and saw A, B, C, which was really really cool", he is going to endeavor to write this blog as his experience is, "a spiritual journey into himself in India.
Jason also would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any self-indulgent thoughts, excessive brooding, self-deprecation, nonsensical stories, illogical conclusions, large gaps in time, vague references, or poor writing style, and splelling errors. He takes this opportunity at the outset to absolve himself from doing so later.
Finally, Jason has 2 suggestions:
2. Should I fall off the deep end, please do not hesitate to let me know. Its perfectly acceptable and may save me from joining a cult. (My mom will bless you and your family forever!)
A mere 8 days before I leave, I am finally setting up this blog. The question I posed to myself and others posed to me is "Why India." Simple enough, but I'm not sure I can answer with any solid response. I will try to lay out some thoughts.
I have a great apartment in Cow Hollow (not the marina ~ wise ass), had a wonderful girlfriend who wanted to get married and have children (which I really wanted too), have fantastic, caring and supportive friends, and have a loving, sweet, generous, giving, supportive family. So what the hell is missing!? I've asked that question a million times. And maybe that is ultimately the reason I'm going.
Lawyerdom was not suiting me. I was working ridiculous hours, I was making a good living, but I felt like I was missing something incredibly meaningful in my life. While I saw people dying of cancer on a regular basis at work, I repeatedly asked myself, "When my time comes, what will your story be?" Not the story other people will tell about me, but what will I say to myself on my deathbed about the way I lived my life. What were my choices, and how did I spend my time on this planet.
In a way, I think that until I ultimately decide how I want to spend this life (and thank God I have a choice) all the other things just will not fit into their nicely packaged place. So I decided to descend back into myself - "Lech Lecha" as God said, which translates not only to "Go out" a command, but also to first "Go within yourself." I know I don't have to go all the way around the world to go into myself, but I want to see India - the people, the colors, the smells, the food; practice yoga; learn to really meditate; volunteer and help people; spend some good quiet time with myself; and take a break from chasing the elusive "Dollar" - which I can never seem to catch anyway.
I know that I will greatly miss my life here. And I know that I should get over it, 11 months is not that long. But I do want to take this opportunity to say thank you to all of my friends that have stood by and listened to me as I unfolded this cockamamie plan, ESPECIALLY those that have supported it. And to all my friends and family that have stood by me during all my successes and failures in life, the good times, the bad times, the fun times and the sad times; and to my family whose unconditional love and never-ending support and patience have made this trip possible. I love you all, and it is with anticipation and lots of sadness that I'm leaving you.
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