Scaring off Bargirls

Baku Travel Blog

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Most of my friends are amazed at how I am able to scare off bargirls by just walking into a bar.  They are amazed even more because I am a single and employed American living in a 3rd world country and I shower daily too.  One would think that combination would be enough for most bargirls to instantly propose marriage (yes, many have in the past, but no longer).  Many of my friends have wondered what my secret is and here today i am going to share my patented techniques with all of you for free.  Usually, i would charge $5-$10 for such information, so when you think of it, you are actually making money by reading this entry of my blog.

Disclaimer: Bargirls are people too and many of them are victims of circumstance or something worse.  I am not about to preach to anyone about the problems of human trafficing but i will merely say that it is a problem that everyone who travels should be aware of.  I would not condone anyone treating someone else badly due to their lot in life. 

Act Like A Cat

One of the things that bargirls as well as strippers will do to a guy is touch him.  Usually, it is a friendly rub on shoulder.  The guy will usually sit up straighter in his chair because he will consciously or perhaps subconsciously want to be touched more.   When a guy sits up more, the woman knows she has him.  The way to combat this is to act like a cat who does not want to be touched.  If you have tried to pet a cat who does not want to be touched, you will see a cat that is ducking and weaving better than most heavyweight boxers.   Be like that cat.  Yes, you might look stupid, but it beats the alternative which is screaming, "Why are you touching me?!?!?!?!"  But that is also very effective in scaring off bargirls.

Charge Them Before They Charge You

If a bargirl kisses me on the cheek, i charge them 5 manats because my cheek is not free.  The secret here is to ask the girl for something before she asks you to buy her something.  As soon as a bargirl touches me, i am asking her to buy me a beer and I keep bothering her to buy me a beer until she either buys me a beer or gets totally frusted with the situation and leaves me alone.  Sadly, none have bought me a beer yet.

If the bargirl is persistant, you might want to try to give her the price for her for having sex with you before she tries to do the same to you.  This is more fun if the bargirl is limited in your native language.  This is the usual conversation for me.

Bargirl: i love you!
Me: I know you do.  And since you love me so much, tonight, just for you, I will take you home with me and only charge you 20 manats.  Only 20 manats for the best 30 seconds of your life.
Bargirl shakes head no.
Me: Huh? Should it be more?
Bargirl shakes head yes.
Me: 30 manats?
Bargirl shakes head no.  Puts thumb up.
Me: Ok, 50 manats. 
Bargirl shakes head yes and smiles.
Me:  Wow, i must be great if you are willing to pay more for tonight.  So you are going to give me 50 manats and come home with me, right?
Bargirl smiles.
Someone who knows English better explains to the bargirl that she has just agreed to pay me 50 manats to have sex with me.  Bargirl runs off in embarrassment.

Psychological Warfare

This should be used in a last ditch effort in scaring off bargirls, but this technique is also very effective in screwing with your friends as well.  What you do is talk to your friend or fellow drunken compadre at the bar, point at the bargirl, say something stupid like "look, she has a nose in the middle of her face" to your conversation partner and start laughing.  This really screws with people's minds especially if they have no idea what you are saying about them.  Try doing that to one of your friends and see their reaction. 

In closing, probably the best way to avoid bargirls is not to go to bars and just get drunk at home but that is not that much fun. 







This was a lame post.


IceTea says:
"Disclaimer: Bargirls are people too and many of them are victims of circumstance or something worse. I am not about to preach to anyone about the problems of human trafficing but i will merely say that it is a problem that everyone who travels should be aware of. I would not condone anyone treating someone else badly due to their lot in life. "

Thanks for that one. :)
Posted on: Oct 31, 2008
Lucles says:
I think you'll find most expat guys try to not scare the girls away
Posted on: Apr 25, 2008
geerbox says:
Not lame, great advise! haha
Posted on: Apr 01, 2008
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