If you want to get treated like a lady...

Baku Travel Blog

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I know I often rant and rave about how people get on and off the metro here.  You can read my advise about doing exactly that here -->Surving the Baku Metro  I accustomed to guys being buttheads because that is our nature.  When there is another guy standing across from me when the metro doors open, I often equate it to two rams running into each other to prove their manhood.  Yes, it does not make logical sense unless you are a guy and then it makes perfectly good sense.  The thing is recently I have been getting a false sense of security riding the metro because more and more people are waiting for those getting off to actually get off before rushing to get on.  I am now almost expecting for that to happen. 

Well, today was a little different.  I headed from Baku Soviet to the Ganlik metro stop.  The plan was to get off at Ganlik, which is close to the soccer/football stadium and walk 30 minutes to the Olympic Star Gym.  I should preface that before going to the gym I often drink a Red Bull and listen to a lot of heavy music on my iPod to get me in the mood to lift.  I tend to listen to stuff like Slayer, Snapcase, Between the Buried and Me, Neurosis etc. before and during my workouts.  It makes me hyper.  About the only thing that could possible make me anymore hyper would be drinking a pot of coffee chased with a 2 liter of Jolt Cola and then eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch spiked with Red Bull. 

So I was on the metro and the crowds getting on were light.  I started bouncing a little on the balls of my feet while listening to Tom Araya scream and thinking about today's shoulder workout.  I was getting a little hyper.  When the tram pulled into Ganlik, I was the only person preparing to exit through the sliding doors directly in front of me.  I looked out the doors' windows and saw a group of women outside.  I thought  women being the fairer and less testosterone-induced of the sexes, surely I can just get out.  Was I ever wrong!  These women were hell-bent on getting on the metro immediately -- me getting off be damn.  I did not see a sale on purses or clothing inside of the tram.

I am not a small individual.  Well, there are three things that are small on me and four when it is really cold outside.  I am pretty big guy, not fat, just some muscle on me.  I kind of look like a middle linebacker or a pro wrestler.  You would think that people would think, "Hey, he is kind of big.  He is much bigger than me.  Using my power of logic I can deduce that he could knock me over so let me get out of his way."  No, these women must have watched a bunch of old Wonder Woman episodes because they were trying to bull rush me.  There were two young ladies who had their hands on my chest (maybe they were trying to cop a feel?) and were pushing against me.  Each one weight about as much as my left thigh.

After about a second and a half of trying to be nice and avoiding contact, I said screw it and bull rushed back.  There were grunts of disgust as if i was being rude, but frankly I did not care. 

Ladies, I am all for being a gentleman.  I will open doors for you and offer you my seat.  I am a kind and caring individual, but if you try to bull rush me, you better expect a bull rush back.  While I am all for being a gentleman, I also believe in equal rights.  If a guy bull rushes me, i would do the exact same to him.

My Strut

A friend of mine told she thought I was strutting and I was getting a little cocky.  She also mentioned that I had a bit of a smirk on my face.  Truth be told I tweaked my right knee and I am now walking funny due to the pain and my smirk is actually a grimace from the pain.  i just want to set the record straight.

Decisions

As some of my regular blog readers know, I have accepted a job to teach in China.  The problem is I have been working with a powerful NGO here.  I like working with this group and they seem interested in me working for them.  While I love the idea of living and working in China and living in East Asia has been a lifelong dream, this NGO is giving me the chance to be a published author, which is another lifelong dream.  I have not discussed salary with the NGO but next week I am going to.  I have to make some decisions about my life very soon.  It makes me wonder which road will lead me to where I want to be going.
azerfriend says:
That's awesome having life present you w/2 roads each leading to a dream!
Posted on: Jul 29, 2008
jennjeff1 says:
These blogs are SOOOOOOOO funny I almost split my sides laughing while reading them!

~Jeff
Posted on: Jun 29, 2008
jennjeff1 says:
Great blog!
Posted on: Jun 29, 2008
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photo by: RJawad