Crap, i forgot about the old lady

Baku Travel Blog

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Recently, i have been receiving calls from this old lady.  It is now becoming almost a ritual.  She calls me 4-5 times a day.  While not as sweet as the "I love you" girl of Nakhchivan, it is still equally funny.  Our conversations go something like this...

Me: Hello?
ME: MAN AMERICAN MAN! (I am an American!) Yok Azeri! (No Azeri!) Yok Ruski (No Russian!)
Old lady: Roofa?
Me: i do not anything about the roof, you will need to talk to my landlady and i live on the 3rd floor.  There are  two apartments of above me.
Old Lady: Roofa?
Me: No, my name is Ronnie.  I have work to do.  Bye!
(5 minutes later the phone rings and the conversations starts again.)

The funny thing is I had a friend of mine talk to the old lady today and the old lady is insisting that I am calling her.  But the thing is this attempt of communicating with each other while not understanding each other is very interesting and entertaining.  I think that is a sign i need to get out more often.
IceTea says:
*still laughing* I think I would just laugh in the phone...
Posted on: Apr 14, 2008
sybil says:
hey, maybe you should ask the old lady out. ;)
Posted on: Feb 21, 2008
tvillingmarit says:
You have made my day, I love your blogs. Do the old lady have a crush on you?
Posted on: Feb 21, 2008
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An Update on My Ankle

Just in case any of my regular readers were spending sleepless nights wondering how my ankle was (Yes, i know of several who must have been deeply distraught that the weirdo totally screwed up his ankle), nothing is broken...well, at least according to the doctor who had vodka on his breath.  I am able to get around although my entire foot is bruised and after walking around for about 30 minutes it gets really ankle gets stiff, not another part of my anatomy, ...but it would be cool if it did after walking around for 30 minutes.  Man, i would never stop walking then.

Actually I Should Not Be Shocked

i do not want to say people walk really slow in Baku, but here i am with a sprained ankle and passing people like they are standing still.  Sometimes i want to scream, "What is wrong with you people?  I am a temporary gimp and I am passing you up.  Don't you have any pride?"

The other thing that really did not shock me was people walking into me  even though I was walking like a penguin.  Maybe they thought I was a fast moving penguin who just looked kind of human?   Maybe these are the people who take offense at someone who is injured walking faster than almost everyone else?  I have convinced myself that the people are not being rude , but instead they just cannot help themselves because I have such a magnetic personality that the citizens of azerbaijan cannot help but run into me.  It is all scientific.  Yea, that's it.

TV Show Update

The new series has been cut from 30 episodes to 20.  i am a little releaved.  I have written a rap version of Little Red Riding Hood.  You know, I am a true OG (Odd Goofball).  I actually started to perform it for a few kids and they liked it, so i might have a new career as rewriting nursery rhymes into a modern form.  And the great thing is I can easily change it to where 2 Live Crew would proud to call it their own.

Getting off the Metro

Man, people really want to get on the Metro here.  It is a battle to get off.  As soon as the doors open, people are ramming into whoever is trying to get off.  I think from now on out, I am going to let off a massive blood-curling war cry whenever the Metro doors open.  If that does not scare the crap out of the person on the other side of the doors, the sheer humor of it all should be enough for me get off the subway with the least amount of body damage as possible.

Let Me Put It to You This Way...

A female friend of mine recently asked me why I never asked her out.  Truth be told I was attracted to her, but the time was just not right.  So this was what I wrote...

The reason I did not ask you about you and me is, i am sad to say, I automatically assumed you were with someone.  90% of the women i have had any interest in are usually involved with someone else.  It has gotten to the point where I automatically equate the fact that if i am attracted to a woman, the greater the chance she has a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, husband or some other form of commitment that would make it impossible to have a relationship beyond merely friendship.  From the remaining 10%, only about 10% (or 1% of the original) have any interest in having a relationship with me.   I consider it my own fault to quote Michael Franti of Disposable Hereos of Hiphopriscy in his song "Music and Politics", "I am suffering from the worst kind of loneliness/ the loneliness of being misunderstood/ or more poignantly the loneliness of not allowing myself to be understood."  So from that 1% of women who would have a relationship with me, 99.9% of them are evil.  Therefore leaving .001% probability that you a) would be available; b) be willing to have a relationship with me; and c) be non-evil.

IceTea says:
:) I know it's hard sometimes to find the right match. I too suffer from something similar. That's why I travel too. To learn to open up and let ppl understand. hmmm or moreover to find so who just does?
lol it seems most of all to find myself haha.

And I agree I hope u asked her out.
Posted on: Apr 14, 2008
Jopin says:
Guys aren't the only ones who seem to be interested in women who are attached/married or not sure about their feelings for you when they ARE attached. The latter is down to meeting someone new who's also funny and pays you a whole lot more attention compared to present boyfriend, who - compared to the new guy - looks to be more and more boring and unattractive. I've fallen for gay men and married men. And if the dude is single, I have NO chance at all! It's usually because he's recovering from a bad relationship and is a little apprehensive abt jumping in, head first. Its either that, or I'm not his type, yada yada yada! Anyway, you get my drift. :P
Posted on: Mar 10, 2008
sybil says:
ROFL! you are sooooooooo funny! so how do you convert "me so h@%#$, me love you long time" into a nursery rhyme? (hey, did i just rhyme? haha!)

as for that girl you shoulda asked out, dude, you are doing way too much math it is hurting my head. as the nike ad says, "just do it." :D
Posted on: Feb 21, 2008
photo by: RJawad