Some thoughts about China so far...

Shanghai Travel Blog

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these are dried lizards...not bats... that were in my Bai Jio!
yo..
so i've been in shanghai for about 2 weeks now...and i had to share some things with you ppl...(not that you care...but i have to vent to someonebut feel free to delete it as i know you guys have real jobs...)

cuz ONLY IN CHINA...

- can a freaking tour be worse than an NETC (the tour co. where i was the Office B!tch)  one! Bloody tour guide took us to stores where he collected commission 80% of the time.  Beautiful landscape...didn't see much of it...and don't get me started on the toilets. There were like 50 incident reports every day...only there was no one to report to.   (Hell...half of those were my parents arguing...i knew there was a reason why i lived halfway across the world away from them for the last 10 yrs...my 7 Days in Yunnan Province tour was more like 7 Years in Tibet thanks to them)

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i learned that this tribe believes in making women work all the time while the men just sleep around everynight and do a walk of shame every morning without ever having to marry the girl or take care of their kids.  Tom Brady or my french/czech friend...this is the place for you!

-if you go to buy something and they give you a price counter offer 1/10 the price...chances are that they'll take it cuz they are still making a killing.

- the taxi cabs have these stupid-@ss plastic or iron shield around the driver.  They say it's for their safety against drunks and thiefs.  But someone told me that it is actually for when we crash...they are the only ones that survive.

- you go to a fancy night club and have bartenders throw bottles and glasses at you for complaining about drinks.  This foreigner dude got like 4 stitches on his waist cuz he complained about how long the drinks were taking. 

-Oh yeah...and while i was in the Hip Hop room, i saw this dutch or french dude get pummeled by 2 chinese dudes.  The bouncer stood there watching.  The kids didn't get kicked out.  (the foreign kid must have been FRENCH! that explains it!)  Nevermind that after being in that room for 5 mins i realized i was the oldest guy there...cuz in Asia HS foreign freshmen go out to clubs.

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at least the chics are honest.  My friends and i were having fun...had a table, 2 bottles of Gray Goose and 1 of champagne and we were enjoying the special act of Japanese Pole Dancers when this Sigaporean chic that physically looked like Pam Anderson walks in.  My friend goes to talk to her.  Asks her "so you come here often?". she replies "nah...i am just looking for a man with LOTS of money." That was the end of their conversation. Ten mins later she was walking out with some old, fat rich looking foreigner.  gotta respect an honest Gold Digger.

- a weekly magazine headlined "Feeling SPECIAL" to advertise the SPECIAL OLYMPICS that are being held here. 

- you can get some Bai Jio at the local eatery.  An alcoholic drink fermented with snake bones and mystery chinese ingredient du jour.  The one i had was DRIED LIZARDS.  It was my initiation drink to Shanghai...and you all know i was done for the night after that.

-in this city with 1100 skyscrapers i can't believe there aren't that many suicides.  i went to my friend's luxury condo on the 20th floor and the window opened all the way so anyone could jump...or be tossed by the mafia...ha

-met with my canadian friend Alaina to explore the city.  We went to The Bund (the riverside overlooking the tallest buildings of the world) and asked a local to take a pic.  He spent the next 5 mins trying to figure out the camera...guess he couldn't grasp the concept of camera...a 35mm one.  (i guess this more like an "Only in Canada do they have 35 mm still")

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i decided to post an ad to offer DOG WALKING services to get some cash.  But then i realized i never see any dogs in china...cuz they eat them all!  ...or they are all frozen away at the millions of KFC chains around the country.

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finally...i am going to the Formula 1 race practice session tomorrow.  so i go on the racetrack official website for directions and this is what i got (read the title)
http://www.icsh.sh.cn/english/content/2005-12/10/content_1405360.htm

thanks for reading...
cheers,

Dupree ( we have another max in our group and since i've taken over my friend's couch and i have no career, this is my new name)


avatar2010 says:
... nice review, was thinking to visit Shanghai, but now I guess I need to brush up my Chinese a bit... especially after looking at the link you posted...(and it's said 'english' ??)
Posted on: Feb 17, 2011
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these are dried lizards...not bats…
these are dried lizards...not bat…
Shanghai
photo by: Chokk