The Team..

London Travel Blog

 › entry 5 of 22 › view all entries

Matt: I took on the challenge of the Rickshaw Rampage to gain a cultural understanding of India's diverse culture and geography. And if I'm honest, to see what the continent has to offer in terms of cheese.

My interests include eating cheese and talking about eating cheese. And when I'm in bed, all alone on a quiet night, I like to think about eating cheese as well.

I was born a long, long time ago, in a place far, far, away. And have spent the intervening years mostly drinking red wine and eating cheese.

Driving skills: non-exisitent

Dressing skills: Boat shoes and corduory jacket

Faff ability: low-to-medium

Fumble ability: Lord High Chief of Fumble

G&T formation: excellent

Favourity cheese: Any






Tuk-tuking across India in the wet is really a chance for Mags to get some down-time in between fixing the sewerage systems in the Congo and dipping in-and-out of Darfur.

And she fancied something hotter after last summer when we couldn’t stop her from jumping in and out of frozen Alpine lakes in her knickers . 

Mags Gaynor is mainly of no fixed abode and thus no stranger to travelling. However, she normally errs between two or four-wheels in her choice of vehicle, so in order to rate her chances of survival, we’ve developed some Top Trump style answers..

Driving skills: questionable

Dressing skills: occasionally ethnic

Faff ability: medium-to-high (on a good day, challenging Greg’s)

G&T formation: excellent

Sense of direction: see previous answer







I see this trip across India as an opportunity to meet like-minded people, have serious conversations on the unbearable lightness of being, why globalism leads to tribalism and just how many menthol cigarettes one person has to smoke before their breath turns minty.

Alternatively,  I’ll be getting slit eyed and trying to run my knickers up the nearest available flag-pole.

Driving skills: questionable

Dressing skills: Commando

Faff ability: medium

G&T formation: excellent

Sense of direction: West





Benja is a highly experienced international rally driver having towed a caravan across the Sahara desert, however his greatest driving achievement remains writing off his two cars in a trailer related accident, with no other vehicles involved.

Benja is fluent in many regional dialects including Rubbishchat and Putinthedogdoon, both of which will be extremely useful on this trip.

Although human in appearance, Benja is actually descended from badgers and will give a nasty nip if you come between him and his cider.


Driving skills: passable, except if towing a trailer

Dressing skills: None - his mum dresses him

Faff ability: medium

G&T formation: poor

Snakebite formation: excellent

Sense of direction: Magners






Greg (or Reg to those with a love of brevity) is joining the rickshaw rampage criss-crossing rural India in the search of a good whiskey.
  In between intermittent bursts of driving on the road, Greg is likely to be spotted leaping off rocks and 
climbing very tall cranes.   His cultural interests include not sleeping, girls called Rebecca, northern Ireland , badger launching and ever increasing degrees of  faffing.  Anticipated hangovers are expected to be exacerbated by getting up, bog-roll crises, appendages, vely smelly curry breakfasts, sugar-in-his-tea and power showers.  
When not rampaging across India touting a collection of ethnic man bags, Greg is a touring ballerina currently playing the part of Lisa Simpson.
Driving Skills: low, not improved by potential late night filth-drinking
Dressing Skills: see photo above
Faff Ability: exceptional
G&T Formation: excellent
Sense of Direction: vertical




Brad is fleeing to India to escape from the Russians, who will be pursuing him relentlessly in a small oil tanker intending to force him to sit in a long, painful and pointless meeting.
He hopes his expertise in pipeline engineering will be transferable to souping up a defunct two-stroke tuk-tuk engine. Master of the dubious pun, and officially the Funniest Person He Knows, Bradley will stop at nothing to sample the finest in South Indian cuisine, even if he has to slaughter a sacred cow himself.

Driving skills: inquisitive
Dressing skills: piratical
Faff ability: very low
Faff tolerance threshold:
even lower
G&T formation: semi-professional
Sense of direction: self-assured

Shareenie Shareenie, so good they named her twice.
Shareen is looking forward to three weeks without booze. No, of course that's not true. Shareen is very excited at the prospect of three weeks boozing uninterrupted by tiresome but necessary pursuits like work and looking after her wayward flatmates. Unfortunately the errant flatmates Greg and Matt have not proved that easy to shake off and are tagging along for the ride (ba-dum - see what I did there?). Shareen is also very excited at the propect of expanding her tremendous earring collection with some ethnic numbers that even Accessorise don't stock, and shaking a tail feather to some hardcore bangra.
Always laughing (with you, not at you, honest), Shareenie is known for her unshakeable optimism in the face of certain doom and her ability to fix anything with a glass of wine. She also has the finest pair known to man, something which we are hoping will help us through sticky situations with any traffic cops.
Driving Skills: dependable, unless hungover
Dressing Skills: always stylish, whatever the weather
Faff Ability: low - high depending on previous night's alcohol consumption
G&T Formation: off the scale
Sense of Direction: direction? does it matter?

David "Danger" Torbet [Danger really is his middle name] is expected to be at the front of the pack.

He likes to win everything. Life is a race, and he never comes second. Several girlfriends have complained about this very issue.

Armed with a history of tyre abuse and a penchant for driving in binary, young David is not going to let his congenital dwarfism hold him back in any way. Short in stature, and tight in wallet, this plucky Scot is going across to India to show the locals what a real international rally driver can do.

Driving Skills: Fast, aggresive and dirty
Dressing Skills: Fast, aggresive and dirty
Faff Ability: Limited unless it's competitive faffing
G&T Formation: Dangerous
Sense of Direction: Direction comes second place to winning...

Miss_C says:
What no Torbet?

Can I write his?
Posted on: Aug 02, 2007
Join TravBuddy to leave comments, meet new friends and share travel tips!
photo by: ulysses