Lack of culture,+an amount of creativity= Central America

Central America Travel Blog

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Utila Is.

Hola! Blog went bloggless cause there really wasn’t much culture to be had in Central America after Gautemala except some fun anecdotes. Mexico and Guatemala were so rich in history, culture, and lovely people.  There are some travel spots I thought were cool the rest of the way thru C.America but the travelers were by far the best part.

So Honduras…

 is lucky cause it has the Bay Islands. Roetan is more expensive as cruises stop there and everything is well organized and in the form of cookie cutter tourism at a price quickly assimilated. Utila, where I stayed, is much more backpacker orientated. There you dive on the cheap, a license is $250ish, fun dive $20-30. I have my dive license since 94, but I feel awkward having to take off my leg, have help with the tank, etc.

On Utila Is. this cat created a bar, heard his cat speak, had African trading beads like me, and the word is this bar is the 3rd most interesting in the world.
There are prosthetics for swimming and diving but just can’t be bothered until I am more settled. I did bring my own snorkel/mask and every morning ate my pastele (dough pocket stuffed with meat and fried for $1.50) walked the first part past the beach, second leg was a long stretch where 4x4 runners have made into a path of hardened sand, last stretch are houses to the out of business bar set out into the Carribean. All and all like 40 minutes from door to water.  But the coral and fish are well worth the walk, sometimes twice a day, though the wind picks up and the water is not as clear as in the morning. The coral is alive, fish numerous in color and the world so far away, and it gets better- only 30 feet from the bar is a 40 foot wall that is crystal clear to the floor bed where rays of all sort hang out.
Copan ruins
Every night it was all about Skid Row Bar, the local joint for expats and one really wild Smash talking local. The expats for an array of reasons are mainly American, think Obama is an idiot, and had enough money to take a leap of faith into an island that has continuous flow of university age eye candy from around the world, and enough sport to create business. It is all good. The one odd ball local I fell in love with sells hot sauce. Wes is loud, speaks his own brand of Smash (local dialect of English) and he has enough spare time to beat all who challenge him at pool.  I like him, he bought me beer the second time we met, he also got into a fight with my neighbors dog in front of my hotel. The dog backed down with the owner holding onto him and Wes to make his point threw milk into the dogs face.
Copan ruins these steps are wow!
One pissed off owner, but it is a small island and things have to be forgiven until they reach a head. There is about 3 murders per year.  It is the kind of island, there is local gossip, and no one knows just how much he sells… enough hot sauce to do as he wishes and play hard everyday at Skid Row. Skid Row works on the side of alcoholics- two pinkie fingers of mix are added to rocks and liquor between $3-5.  Made friends with all, had a lovely time and somehow don’t really remember the last night but woke up with my money intact so I hope someone was buying me drinks.  Did look into buying a house, 2-3 bedroom a little better than good sells for $60-90K.

The biggest bitch to Honduras is the Bay Island are Carribean, Copan Ruins are Pacific side and between is a culture of poverty.

half the basketball court in Copan
I made it to Copan at oh 9pm after a 4 hour ferry, 4hour ride to San Pedro (junction city of all traffic!!) and 5 hour ride to Copan. BUT of all the ruins I have seen, Copan is the best. Tikal is second cause your able to see three temples above the tree canopy but otherwise nadda. Copan is like 80% original, not reproductions of the originals, hieroglyphics are everywhere. In the jungle laying on the ground, on the 12 or more statues in an open field, on the temple face, and the really cool 120 or so steps of one temple spanning some 20feet across, plus Copan is where the basketball game court is they always show on tv about Mayan culture.  One could reach this through Antiqua in Guatemala, about 10 minutes from the border but because of the Bay Islands or if your to travel south you must go through San Pedro again.
Macaw in Copan
  Arrived in San Pedro at 9pm and buses don’t run at night. The idea of paying to stay in San Pedro did not appeal so I spent a night walking through the second largest city of Honduras- 2 avenues of every Americana restaurant representing what American culture is thought to be- fast food, and then blocks and blocks of hourly hotels and prostitutes. Every entrance, is represented by a guard- corporations gets rifles and handguns, small shops get a machete guard.  In residential neighborhoods, barbed wire runs along the top of a 10 foot concrete block wall with cameras at each corner.  The last few hours before my bus (first) left at 5am, I spent reading in a Texeco gas station.

Nicaragua is next. Unfortunately there are no ruins, no hieroglyphics, no islands, poverty is what we sell here! NEVER fucking trust a country who will not work within it’s own currency and demand dollar or euro.

The Belgies, English and me on our way to O... Is. a 2 volcanic is.
In one sense it is kinda funny, sitting at the bus stop not wanting to be bothered the bus will come, yet no matter how nicely, or meanly you say no thank you… the taxi man refuses to leave you. In India, at least negotiations are interesting here it is all shit. $5 is the going rate for anything rather it be 1km or 10km, entrance, or a scoop of ice cream, that is the per person price. The damnest thing. The taxi man will stay, not lower his price, but annoy you until the point the tourist just gives in. Damnest but funny. When my bags come off the top of the bus, if I am not right on top of the situation, the taxi drivers grab each end and in a yank and pulling match, complete disregard for my poor bag.  

And to that point, in my first stop in Nicargua was Leon.

2 volcanic is in Nicaragua.
  I met a really nice Israeli boy who was robbed, he got into a taxi, others followed and he though they were there to share the expense, he spoke Spanish fluently- they blind folded, taped his hands, took him to an ATM, he gave them his password and after maxing out there they proceeded through his shit. Bummer, goes to show you got to be ready and careful. After hearing this story I became more aware. In Leon, I met these 3 Belgians and 1 English, we drank everynight (3) at the local cool disco and danced. It is really weird that I use to be so introverted (really? Yes). I never danced before Central America, I would like to think that I am not a horrible dancerbut I am. And I would like to think the girls all dance the way do with all men- so far I have been incredibly lucky.
likin what little Shaq has accomplished
There is a music here called Rageton (spelled?), the beat is wonderful for sex, it continues forever and girls just jive on it. I have always said I like to save kisses and smiles people give me into an imaginary purse they go, but this dancing could become addicting. It comes with a good amount of kisses too. The woman puts her but and jives it around up and and down, slowly, quickly, throbbing against the mans penis- I say man cause I am sure I am not the first yet… I don’t see it happen too much to other guys (just sayin). Our last night in Leon, the good stuff… got drunk and drank more at the club after getting the proper turn downs in the hostel among our younger youthful ladies of summer travel. Belgian had a local hottie, we all dancing and drinking and then I wisked away by this girl and then loud boy comes to introduce himself while she frisks me for my wallet- can’t anyone be trusted? In my many years of travel I must have a target on my head- the bad guys are 0 for 5 in attempts to rob me.
80% is this in the old sect of Panama.
  Later then, almost got with 21 yr old German girl when we returned till stupid Canadian stepped all over my penis to demand a cigarette. If conversation is limited to I got high, I did cocaine and nothing more- get a life. The night before I gave him a cigarette, walked away as he was speaking, did it again earlier in the day, that is 2 smokes for a piece of shit. Then with a bird in my hand, he comes again at 3am, can’t I get any love! Belgians block properly- never met a bad Belgian. Tell him no, I have only enough for myself and my friends and I don’t like him. He gets all puffy, you’re a dick, blah blah blah but stays out of everyones reach. Ugh. Anywho, there must be some piece of shit repellent out there. So I followed the boys to a volcano island in central Americas largest lake- god knows the name.
80% is this in the old sect of Panama.
Nothing special except a trial in tourism. I liked hanging out with the Belgians.

Went on to San Juan, it is a beach, a shitty beach but “better” beaches are farther,  good for people who want to learn how to surf and only a mere $10 per person, minimum 7 people, shuttle away but everyday I was there the only thing people did was stung by stingrays- quite painful too. Made new friends, liked quite a lot a Dutch ski instructor and this Canadian cat who just could not figure out how to talk to this English girl even though the Dutch and myself made an agreement to let him have at without complicating matters. The dutch was angry for allowing me to talk him into it, the Canadian felt silly cause we gave him some tough love analyzing his failure when he came home and girl went home alone.

Panama Canal.
I felt kinda failed in my attempt of kindness.

I met the man who wrote Push ups in the Prayer Room, the ass went on a year holiday, 6 continents, 26 countries- he’s an American living in San Juan. I met him cause I had previously read the back cover and made jokes the guy was a douche for such a obvious marketing ploy of sillyness. I am out with the Dutch, watching equally mundane soccer/football, I again saw the book sitting cover out alone on display on a shelf below the tv.  With no options, I started to raze the book again. I mean how? What culture does he attempt to understand? No budget constraints? Character development? I was like fuck all, when he said I wrote the book. My response “So you feel like a fucking douche now right?” It has gotten some great reviews.

Jungle indigenous people.. really?
Me: It is amazing how ignorance has corrupted our universities.  He is what he is, and I what I am, I don’t think he would step so low to be me and I have no desire to live as a schmuck.   Someday I do want to write a book. Travel book with some moral/unmoral conclusion… whatever but a story about traveling ought to have depth beyond some culture puns, and anecdotes. That’s what my blog is for!  Other than that San Juan is useless. Oh! And if a man says he has cocaine, a handful and only wants $20, and you don’t try it beforehand then your French Canadian! Good fun for me.

To Costa Rica…

It is lovely, the greenery is lovely and if I had a choice of family vacation to Disney or Costa Rica I would prefer Costa Rica.

Me friends in Viejo Panama,
It was too set up for me to appreciate it. Others have, if you have the money, and like bungy jumping and other thrill seeking things set in nature I imagine it can’t get better.  In my heart I think I am a city boy. Puerto Viejo, is across and lower se corner is where I set camp for 3 days. Smoking tea leaves with self proclaimed Buddha- boy (33 yr old) on the edge who cried 5 times cause he felt peoples pain and felt the need to tell me about it. Personally, I think detachment from the individual was the path to nirvana (and a damn good sense of humor) but perhaps somewhere in the middle. We went snorkling, the young man is like mayor of the city- everyone knows him yet he has only been there a week longer than myself. Being that he is mayor and the snorkle spot is 8kms away, it took a half frigin day to get to lapalya.
viejo panama
We're out and the three pieces of live coral we saw- he gave me one as a present of his love- what the fuck! Dead coral isn’t so pretty. Loads of young and dumb,  good Reggae, not so cheap either at supermarket or restaurant, beautiful Hostel Pagula has a great staff. A short time spent but I really fell in love with the guys who work and own the hostel.

Lovin Panama City…

I came into Panama City late at night and made a bee line for Cosco Viejo which is the old town after the original Panama Viejo was burnt to the ground n 1671. The ruins are neat, built in 1575 and it is surrounded by a sketchy neighborhood of multicolored homes like the poorer side of New Orleans. Walking from the bus station to Cosco Viejo, takes one through rows of by the hour hotels, and lovely prostitutes.

Miami side of Panama City.
Lovely cause Panama is growing GDP 12% a year and draws people from all neighboring countries. Peligrosso is Spanish for dangerous, no one I asked directions from wanted me to walk, and one person stopped his motorcycle, offered to pay for a taxi. Cause it was late I just walked around the city all night, it was peaceful. The city is in two halves- one old like the French Quarter, the other amazing skyscrapers and feels like Miami.  Both are under construction, literally it is like 70% of the buildings are under construction. You would think this is a great buying opportunity but I looked into buying on the New Orleans side. 156 m2 only the four exterior walls standing is 450,000! Hubba hubba… it is what it is. That is why construction is slow to move, no one can afford to buy and build and the few that are willing to at that price will be corporations thus eventually ruining the synergy of the neighborhood.
In the glass building Panama City,
I think I appreciate it more with full growth trees popping out through the windows and over what should be a roof. In time we see.

Ben, Luce, the silly French boys. So when trying to impress a girl one ought to make sure there is not mixed company. For example, your really not surprised when racist don’t use the word coon or nigger in a black community… French boy should not say Quebec(an?, ist?) are ignorant fucks so loud in a hostel. Quick way to lose a girl is to be confronted by a Quebecan that says “what the fuck?” Spanish girl gone, French moping, my humor just starting to further destroy his ego… and yet it took 2 days for him to figure out my buddy took and fucked his girl. His buddy may have understood the wit, yet he laid in bed 24/7 watching internet so I hit him up with suntan jokes and bedsore jokes.

In the pool, living large. Panama City.
The French did have cheap airflight tickets to Columbia,  “We should kill the French and take their passports.” So Ben, Luce, and my lovely Israeli husband (same birthday +2 yrs.) and wife (25yr old, I am so fing’ jealous) hung out for a day or two but I felt so comfortable and close I wish my whole life to be like that.  The Balboa girls are Columbians who have massive breast and sell Balboa beer. We were out all day doing cool tourist stuff, it was hot… I had to be told Balboa is beer when I read across their chest, then the more I starred the higher my heart rate- closest I have come to a heart attack.  

Funny bar story, often girls hit on me (not to sound like an ass but it is true) at the bar and too often I do the stupidest thing.

Lovely lovely lovely 22 yr old Panamanian girl tells me she likes me, follows me all over and I turn into a Pillsbury doughboy figure “isn’t she cute”.  Story of my life, I hate to admit this but since 18 I have caught myself hundreds of mornings "what the hell was I thinking…" and it gets worst… slutty American blonde catches my eye- we kiss, her girlfriend is a  cute brunette takes us to her place after the bar closes, I kiss the blonde again… then... the brunette- the blonde a wee bit not happy says it is time for bed and I should go.  There must be something seriously wrong with me. I chalk it up to my brain doesn’t work quite right. If I stand on a street corner without asking directions the chances of me going the wrong way is somewhere near always.
the Miami of Central America. Panama

Lastly, we attempt culture in Central America! Meet an Argentinean guy who will see Indigenous people deep in a jungle. This depth was across the lake from a huge tourist hotel, donning of traditional dresses, hiding the satellite disks and our admission reduced from $25 to $5. It is what it is.

Now in Cartagena, Columbia and already screwed up once but god I am hoping not irreversible. Sitting on the airplane to Cartagena, I look up and see this beautiful woman, the seat next to mine is empty, I am hoping and hoping she will take the seat, she does. We start to talk and never stop. She and I are so similar I am so amazed (overtly excited I hope not). She ask where I am staying, I say here at… she says her place is small but I can stay with her.

On top of the Hard Rock Hotel!!
What would a normal brain tell you to do? Exactly, now what words come from my mouth… “Oh, no worries I think the hostel is cool.” I gave her my email… she offered hers at the luggage pick up. Again, you can imagine what happened. God gave me money, bless, he has given me the ability to see beauty where it may not be pretty again bless, communication check, travel check, witty humor bless but why in the hell is it so impossible for me to use my brain as others do…cest la vie. 

 

rsvpme says:
Very interesting..and that is an understatement.
Posted on: Sep 05, 2012
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Utila Is.
Utila Is.
On Utila Is. this cat created a ba…
On Utila Is. this cat created a b…
Copan ruins
Copan ruins
Copan ruins these steps are wow!
Copan ruins these steps are wow!
half the basketball court in Copan
half the basketball court in Copan
Macaw in Copan
Macaw in Copan
The Belgies, English and me on our…
The Belgies, English and me on ou…
2 volcanic is in Nicaragua.
2 volcanic is in Nicaragua.
likin what little Shaq has accompl…
likin what little Shaq has accomp…
80% is this in the old sect of Pan…
80% is this in the old sect of Pa…
80% is this in the old sect of Pan…
80% is this in the old sect of Pa…
Panama Canal.
Panama Canal.
Jungle indigenous people.. really?
Jungle indigenous people.. really?
Me friends in Viejo Panama,
Me friends in Viejo Panama,
viejo panama
viejo panama
Miami side of Panama City.
Miami side of Panama City.
In the glass building Panama City,
In the glass building Panama City,
In the pool, living large. Panama …
In the pool, living large. Panama…
the Miami of Central America. Pana…
the Miami of Central America. Pan…
On top of the Hard Rock Hotel!!
On top of the Hard Rock Hotel!!
80% is this in the old sect of Pan…
80% is this in the old sect of Pa…
Panama city under construction in …
Panama city under construction in…
always digging on the graffiti, th…
always digging on the graffiti, t…
in preserve, also slothes, monkeys…
in preserve, also slothes, monkey…
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