Bangkok Travel Blog

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August 5


Bangkok’re drunk Johnny.  & you drink too much because you hate yourself.  You think of your life, and you hate where your at.  You say you want me to tell you about yourself?  Okay. carry too much baggage Johnny.  What makes your life so hard?  How can you have so many secrets to be afraid of Johnny?   With your "comfortable English upbringing" and "your loving and supportive family."  You're a fucking walking defense mechanism, Johnny, & damn if I can figure out why.  "I don't want to be with anybody" "I don't care about anyone except maybe myself... and maybe my family."  (Who are all safely tucked away on another continent.) Don't you see. We haven't actually slept together Johnny, even if we've done things other people don't believe are possible. I know your body, but I've never seen the way your lids flicker as you dream.   ...You said you were sick of insincerity & you didn't want to come back with me to the hotel tonight. Well, sincerity is relative. & I am going home tomorrow. I am going home tomorrow.  & you are a liar Johnny.  Here you are.  You are here with me.  In my room.  Still trying to hide, tho we are both behind the only door there is to close. Why did you come here Johnny?  i didn't ask you twice...




we are naked on the floor again

            my lips against his body not whispering sweet nothings:

            "you-are-a-liar-Johnny, a-drunk-and-a-liar..."

            "you-are-a-liar-Johnny," I breathe against his mouth as

            we roll over and over,

            "You are a liar..."



eventually, yes,

much later

you will close the door softly behind you.

but only after admitting that you are a liar

while lying naked on that bed.

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photo by: halilee