Our Dear TSA

Newark Travel Blog

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Yeah, well, we knew the flight was going to a be kind of a pain in the ass and so nothing that has happened the past couple of days was of particular surprise or above and beyond the usual US and distance travel crap.

Paivi was selected for "extra" screening at DCA (of course she was, she's a f'rner). Normally, this is fine and goes smoothly but the TSA screeners were feeling particularly "efficient" and enthusiastic that day. They had been grabbing baggage out of peoples hands in the name of trying to move them along, badgering people, and just generally being obnoxious in a "I cant speak english but I work at a McDonalds during corporate breakfast rush hour" sort of way.  In Paivi's case, they tried to grab her luggage back to where she was, didnt get all of it, ignored the fact that some of it was open (I had to clean up the mess when her stuff went all over the floor), etc. She started yelling at the TSA people when they dropped her Mac laptop (I think it means more to her than I do) and the scene was just unpleasant.

Anyway, we did make it to Newark uneventfully after that, but what an unbelievably crappy airport that is. (I've had my own run ins there in the past coming back from London, but that's out of scope here.)  All of the big, obvious signs when you get out of the plane point out where to go if your connecting flight is in another terminal. What they -fail- to mention (and that we noticed out of luck) is that if you go that way, you have to go back through a security check again. Making our way back to the plane, we saw much (much) smaller signs pointing us to the -bus- to the other terminal. Now, I don't know about you, but I expect this type of thing to be some long-term structure. Instead the "bus" was located at one of the -airplane gates-. You had to wait in a small lobby, by led down the non-handicapped-accessible-stairs, outside, and onto a bus. The bus then makes its way to the other terminal and you exit in reverse. How....efficient.

We ended up eating at a Portugeuse restaurant in the food court. It was the only "sit down" food venue nearby and that's why we (unfortunately) chose it. Im -really- easy when it comes to where I eat, but the food here was expensive and bland even for airport food. Really, it sounds like Im bitching a lot here, but it was bad. The place has less refinement and class and an Indiana truck stop. The waitress acted like her husband had left her for her sister, her dog shat on her work soes, and in her teen years had been the poster child for for unwed mothers. But really, it's just an airport, so no hard feelings. :) Just..letting people know here :)

Afterwards, we found ourselves sitting at our gate with an hour and a half left to kill before boarding. The only two seats left were in the middle of a gaggle maroon-colored teenage travelers who sounded like they intended to giggle from takeoff to landing in Hong Kong. 

Watching this scene, I kept morbidly thinking of "Final Destination".

It was also interesting that everyone there who wasn't us and wasn't one of the maroon geese was Asian. I could have counted the other caucasions on one hand. I would have expected otherwise for some reason.

Welp...looks like they're boaring. Huh. More later.


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