'Tracy Diaries' Part 9

McLeod Ganj Travel Blog

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I tried to meditate as much of last night as I could in the ‘lying pose’, with ‘monkey mind’ and the sore throat that kept me awake.

I recall being awake at the sounding of the 1st bells, 0415hrs. I was too tired, though awake, to get out of bed. My 1st negative thought of the day was disappointment in not wanting to do anything at all as I lay in bed till it was light.

The ‘reward list’ looks good on paper. 2nd negative thought of the day was whilst looking at the reward list thinking, “But I don’t really fancy breakfast, what now, where is the self motivation?” Maybe if I had stayed awake from 0415hrs I would be hungry by now and want to achieve something off the list for a reward! J

Its 0841hrs. I thought I had a good motivator to get out of the apartment, get a newspaper! Nope! Meditation is more important and I certainly do not want to be distracted by news in my mind! I was automatically looking for a distraction.

This ‘I’ is lazy with a tendency to ‘run away’ with the mind from sensible plans.

Sensible mind Vs Destructive mind. Wise vs Wayward. Positive Vs Negative. A battle at hand with ‘Mara’. ‘Oh the Deeemons!’ as Big Brothers gay winner Brian would say (running around the room with hands waving in the air).

I think of a positive and negative mind as being like a rechargeable battery. Some of it is filled with negative energy, some positive energy. The more positive energy, the less negative and so forth.

The time to ‘recharge’ is the time to meditate!

I shower, dress, take Koi outside and meditate before setting out for breakfast.I reflect and reiterate to ‘the mind’ that I call ‘myself’,that this mind must be sorted out before it can help others. This mind needs to let go of its ‘self’.

Thoughts of the moment:

  • Whatever anyone does or says has an impact on others around, whether it is positive or negative. This causes chain reactions, like a domino effect, no matter how minute, the repercussions, consequences or ‘effects’ can be much larger. We all have an impact on everyone we meet. What size an impact cannot be fathomed; this is why we need to be so careful. Someone is taking notice of what we do, people react to what we do in many ways, and we leave our imprint, whatever the size.
  • Unless mindfulness is practised, how can anyone begin to understand what effect we have, on everything around us? Do you remember that saying about a butterfly flapping its wings, and a tidal wave on the other side of the world? Well, I am not sure if that can happen, but it is certainly a simile about ‘cause and effect’.
  • I believe it is imperative that humans live in peace and harmony with all other beings and nature itself. With ignorant humans’ intent on destruction, how can our species expect to survive healthily?
  • I also believe that laws of lands and valid religions were ‘created’ to keep peace and harmony amongst all.
  • Going back to ‘cause and effect’, if one drop of ink in the ocean changes the oceans colour, the ocean is no longer the same, it has changed. It has made a difference. So let no one tell you ‘how can I make a difference?’ Each one of us, like I said before, leaves an impression, creates an effect, on others. We are all important. We can all make a difference, each one of us.
  • When ‘good’ like minded people come together. It makes such a special impact, to make a difference. Everyone has the potential to make such a big difference. Our own motivation and wisdom make bigger changes possible.
  • Have you ever been in someone’s company that has made you feel like you want to do more to help others, from your heart with no reward or gain? Some people may think they have nothing to offer or give. Even if we have no material possessions, we can still offer our help (body) or our knowledge (mind).
  • Some people can make you feel genuinely ‘good’, not about yourself or your status, but good like a ‘saint’, giving you good thoughts and intentions. If you have never met anyone like this, maybe you are keeping the wrong sort of company! However, you are wise to keep company with this sort of person.


            It was raining heavily so I put on the waterproofs and headed out for breakfast. I enquired about an Ayurvedic course and went on the internet for two hours. Back to the apartment,took Koi outside and requested vegetable momos.

            I missed out on the appointment at the Ayurvedic class, I was on the internet. I had gargled with Dettol this morning but still have a bad throat. Swollen and red on the in-sides.

            Did you know that Septmember is PEACEKEEPING SEASON on BBC World? bbcnews.com

            Confusion:Everyone can teach me something! So everyone is my teacher,are thay not? But of course, some teachers are better at teaching some aspects of life than others so we need to be careful of whom we take advice from!

*      Read 37 practices of a Bodhisattva

*      Drank tea and ate 7 biscuits

*      Meditated!

*      Napped!

*      Took Koi upstairs

*      Got head re-shaved R40

*      Bought cookie R15

*      2 x Books on Buddhism R245

*      Left note for Dorjee

*      Purse and bowl R70

*      Candle R30

*      Diet coke R30

            I now owe a trip to the museum and the library due to buying two books(rewards) without first doing the tasks.


            I feel bloated (must be the coke-well, it can’t be the 20 pringles,10 momos,7 biscuits and the cookie, can it?)


            I purchased the bowl to encourage only eating that amount sufficient to survive, so as not to overeat. With hands cupped together,’this much’ should suffice two times a day whilst meditating. (Tried and tested showing optimum health!)

            1530hrs. The nuns are noisily bedating in the grounds of the nunnery.

            1830hrs.Same again. Just after the bell rang , you can hear them debating. It was reminiscent of playtime at school! Maybe I should get some ear plugs! Then came more distractions,car alarms,children crying,horns honking,motorbikes revving past,men shouting,dogs barking,cows mooing,the hammering of a local repair,someone attempting to play a flute, someone trying to play the diggery doo (Oh yes!), the local stream that varies in sound from a soft shimmering trickle to a torrential downpour, not to mention the nuns debating and the thumping disco music of the night. All sent to try us! But it doesn’t take long for the mind to be absorbed in an effort to remain undisturbed by it all.

            I went to try to speak with Dorjee. The mozzies are prevalent around his door at this time of day. I go straight back to the apartment to read.

            I read Daily Recitations and some of Shantidevas ‘The way of the Bodhisattva’. In one line, it mentions, ‘clinging to what is passing’. I reflect on that as the mind conjures a vision of a child in a desperate bid to catch soap bubbles in the air.

            This mind is learning, from this book, about how to regard our enemies, teachers and friends…

Ø      “Experience in the fruit of our action”

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McLeod Ganj
photo by: Stevie_Wes