'Tracy Diaries' Part 8
McLeod Ganj Travel Blog› entry 41 of 130 › view all entries
(No.19, Hotel Ladies Venture,
One could state, instead of clinging to the ‚ÄėI‚Äô is, ‚ÄúThe Right Thing (in relation to the ‚Äė
These above thoughts have arisen out of reflection this morning, arising from the realisation that I have still, up to now, not carried out any of the organised ‚Äėto-do‚Äô lists that I have attempted.
These thoughts are all something the psychologist can analyse easily. It is avoidance or procrastination, due to an innate fear of something ‚Äėnegative or uncomfortable‚Äô happening, something that I will not like or cannot ‚Äėcontrol‚Äô.
One can have physiological effects of ‚Äėfear‚Äô of a future event that may or may not happen (worrying). This can bring on the following negative physical effects such as (commonly known effects) headache, nausea, vomiting, shaking, leg-foot-hand tapping, pacing, nail biting, scratching, forgetfulness, hopelessness, helplessness. If one has most of these conditions it is generally called ‚Äėstress‚Äô .Excessive stress leads to more serious physiological effects such as mental breakdown, physical exhaustion, depression, violence, withdrawal, or even attempts at suicide. Hence, the increased attention that ‚ÄėMental Health‚Äô is getting in the
Employers will surely benefit from seeing their employees happier and healthier if they take preventative measures; a decrease in sickness levels shows a happier, more satisfied employee, therefore increasing profits. Everyone benefits from preventative measures within the workplace!
So, back to the original point. There is ‚Äėprocrastination‚Äô in the air! I am having difficulty in evading thought processes instead of just ‚Äėdoing‚Äô. Like the Nike ‚Äėtick‚Äô , ‚Äėjust do it‚Äô !
Now I shall eat noodles.
Having eaten noodles and putting on Faithless ‚ÄėGod is a DJ‚Äô to motivate me, I realise how fine a line having music on is. It can motivate you or vegetate you! Now I tidy the room. The cupboard begs me to re-organise it. I am en-tranced by Faithless ‚ÄėWe come 1‚Äô
(Click above the above word ‚Äėcome‚Äô to hear):
I burn the Guggal
Wash up in the bathroom
Make a coffee
Sort some biscuits
Turn up the volume‚Ä¶
SORT THE CUPBOARD!
Ok that‚Äôs enough ‚Äėtrance‚Äô! L
Now I am playing a little of His Holiness the Dalai Lama‚Äôs teaching, speaking in Tibetan. I find myself being quite serious when I hear his voice. He is a real person I can relate to, not a God. The things he advises I should take on board. It is as if he is saying, ‚ÄúIf I can do it, so can you, I am 71 years old you know and I am still trying my best! Always trying my best!‚ÄĚ J
Moreover, I still have not left the apartment. I have been watching the DVD ‚ÄėIndochine‚Äô with Catherine Deneuve. I cried. It was two and a half hours long!
Because there has been a power cut, I have to consider I have not long before the laptop ceases!
Will I make it to see Dorjee and apologise for not popping in yesterday?
Will I get to the internet to update the website?
Will I meditate?
Maybe it would be a good think to actually ‚Äėlose‚Äô my mind, and then it could not distract me!
Ok, to get me out, what do I have to do?
2) Get on the internet
a. Update website
b. Check emails
c. Email office of HH re: Ordination
d. Add contact details
e. Look for info to help Dorjee
f. Look at Tibetan Dog
g. Look for Green haired monkey in Himchal Pradesh
b. Large water
c. Incense holder
4) Get Hair cut!
So, must face the music sometime!
Eventually I created a list I was happy with. It is now stuck to the wall. A ‚Äėreward‚Äô system to motivate me to do the simplest of things of which I seem to be unmotivated to do. (I wonder how I made it to the classes last week!)
Even though in Buddhist ways, I should not be seeking rewards for doing things. However, the idea of rotting in hell and suffering do not seem such a deterrent most times. I need inspiration to motivate me. Maybe the only place it will come, without relying on anyone else (which I always had an aversion to) is through oneself, through listening, reflecting and meditation.
I made a small list of four items to complete each day, but even that seems too much, overwhelming. The list of four is
2) Check internet
4) Meet Dorjee
The thought of meeting Dorjee to translate for his book seems to fill me with negative thoughts. I think I should stop seeing him. Distractions from what I came here for are to be avoided. Nevertheless, I must be somewhat selfish to be at least of a more positive mind before being able to help others. ‚ÄúAll for one, and one for all!‚ÄĚ
I have a rough night with a rough throat.