The 'Tracy' Diaries Part 11
McLeod Ganj Travel Blog› entry 44 of 130 › view all entries
Koi vomited phlegm. Nothing to worry about, it usually means ‘hungry’. There is evidence to suggest she is fine, and has been all along (good motions!). Koi ate her breakfast sure enough.
The throat is still rough and if the baby next door cries for most of the day again like yesterday, I will not be surprised if it too has a sore throat! I hope the little mite is ok, must be crying for some good reason. In addition, I have sneezes and a little headache, nothing to cry about here!
In Buddhism, confession is to be understood principally in the sense of open acknowledgement (primarily to oneself)of past behaviour. When former actions and ones own nature are confronted, when old behaviour patterns and tendencies are raised into consciousness, then and only then, can they be changed; then and only then , is a new direction possible. (It is interesting to note that, having called upon the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and declared his guilt, Shantideva, does not ask them for forgiveness. They are invoked as protectors and the supreme witnesses of his self-disclosure and resolve. It is in their presence that an old course comes to an end and a new one begins.)
I read some more
Time is short and the stakes high
I take a break before updating the diary, which consisted of creating a ‘to-do’ list that is not overwhelming for this fickle mind. A set of 5 sticky notes, arranged on the wall in a diagonal line. Each has a single task on it. They are in order of priority which includes the task/s this mind has been avoiding.
I speak of ‘my’ mind as ‘this’ mind. It gives a sense of detachment and a better sense of control. I imagine the situation as: the ‘sensible mind’ (like a manager) and ‘my-self mind’ (the employee).
A bit like looking upon a situation or problem from an outside view, detached from emotional ties, and thinking with a wise mind.
BThe literature was about lessons on Buddhist Philosophy between 10 and 12 noon, in Tibetan and translated to English. "Hello you!" a female voice came from in front of me as my head was down in the paper. It was the nun I had been looking for, that I incorrectly called Barbara and Vah-Vah. ‘Vah-Vah’ quickly rushed me into the quiet library room and explained she had to teach a piece on an English Philosopher, showing the difference of Free Will and Fate. We scanned through a heavy philosophers encyclopaedia to find choose Bertrand who was in turn an Atheist, Pacifist and Rebel, even getting arrested and imprisoned(for a second time)prior to his 90th year! We went to the library office, got a photocopy of the information and headed to her nuns room after passing the Vietnamese nun I met the other day. ‘Vah-Vah’ and I chatted a little about why I was there, moved some furniture around and talked about the possibility of my wanting to stay in one of the rooms. We headed out and past an acquaintance of ‘Vah-Vah’s. They spoke briefly, but enough to let me hear the correct pronunciation of this nuns name. Simply, Way-Way. I was too embarrassed to ask earlier! Having got it wrong twice already! Way Way suggested I go to the class tomorrow morning at 11am at the Library, and I would see her there. I could ask her lots of questions after that and get a better feel for the place, considering it could be my new place of abode for a month. I felt time was getting on and I was conscious of the meeting I had arranged with Dorjee. We headed out of the compound and met up with some monks outside a cyber café. Way Way told me they were also on their way to ‘town’ so I could chare a taxi with them, for R15. OK! It saves me getting sweaty, bitten by mozzies and time!
ŽSo there I was chugging up the switchbacks in a tiny car, Indian driver and three monks debating in the back. I did put my seatbelt straight on as we drove off and the driver pulled out his mobile to answer the call. Made it to the top of the hill. Popped into a shop along the way to pick up tissue roll for the snivelling nose, and a can of tuna for our nutrition, in the hope I can get some nutrients I may be lacking. Must take another vitamin tablet!
õDog ‘Tails’…I got back to the apartment, Koi ever pleased wanted to go upstairs, so we went up and got fresh air together. We even had a bit of a chase for some exercise. It is so comical to see her scurrying around the concrete rooftop, just like the cartoon Scooby Doo, ears pinned back, eyes wide and excited, tail between her legs, galloping furiously, skidding around the corners and yapping when we ‘freeze’ for us to carry on! Truly a case of ‘Mad dogs and English (men)’!
õ õ õ õ õ õ õ õ õ õKoi lapped up her dog biscuits and tuna with fervour. We are now sitting quietly together at the desk. Koi is asleep. I ponder what it will be like living in the Library compound, being ordained as a nun here, how much further will I re-train this mind? No one knows until one ventures into the ‘unknown’, so, one-step at a time!
s s s s s s s s s s s s s s
In addition, this throat is still rough.