#1 9-13-2017 3:48 PM

Hallow
Couch Potato
Posts: 1

Met someone I badly wanna see again

So here's the deal. After travelling for a year or so, I met this girl while in Malaysia who I really really clicked with. We spent 4 days together and were basically inseparable for that time.

After those 4 days we had to go our separate ways (because of plans and previously booked plane tickets) but we've kept in touch daily. We're both permanent travellers/digital nomads and seem to want the same things out of life for the moment. Ive decided that I would love to change my travel plans and go meet her where shes at in a couple of months, but I don't know if she would want the kind of commitment of having that planned (even loosely).

I know how it is when travelling, you meet someone, and you have a great time for a few days, and then you split up. Sometimes the fact that you've got so little time with the person is what attracts you to the whole idea in the first place, I've been there. For me this was not one of those times, but I'd get it if it was for her.

I guess what it comes down to is that I'm afraid that if I just ask now 2-3 minths ahead of time she'll think Im being clingy and not want something like that planned or loosely planned, whereas if I play it cool, wait and float the idea when it would be closer, I'm worried that we'll fall out of touch in the meantime.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, I guess I just wanted some fellow travellers' perspective and to vent anonymously. If you made it all the way down here then thanks, and I'm sorry for subjecting you to my somewhat whiney brain fart.

 

#2 9-13-2017 8:12 PM

sarahelaine
Sarah Elaine
Manchester, England
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Globetrotter
Posts: 5952

Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

Ask her, then respect her answer. Just straight up say "it'd be great to see you again. I'm making plans for (month)- do you know what you're up to yet?". If she says "I'd love to, that would be great, I'm in (wherever)", or "I'd love to- not 100% sure what my plans are but let me know and I'll catch you up!" And she sounds enthusiastic, great! If she brushes you off, mentions inviting her boyfriend/girlfriend along, doesn't want to make plans or sounds unenthusiastic, believe her and don't nag. You'll never know if you don't ask and it'll only be weird or creepy if you disrespect her wishes.

 

#3 9-14-2017 1:57 AM

travelgreek
Jennifer
Michigan City, Indiana
Couch Potato
Posts: 17

Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

As a woman, I would love a straightforward guy, not a play cool one. Just say what on your mind and see how she responses

Last edited by travelgreek (9-14-2017 1:57 AM)

 

#4 9-14-2017 6:26 AM

stefmuts
Stefanie
Neerpelt, Belgium
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Explorer
Posts: 1313

Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

First: Sarahelaines advice is exactly what I thought, just ask and if the answer is no, leave it there

nataliereynolds159 wrote:

I've had a similar situation with a guy I met in Croatia- he said to me to go and see him in the US and we could spend a couple weeks there and then go travelling together. I'm quite a realist and thought to myself 'this is all a bit forward after only knowing each other 1 week' but hey ho.

However, I messaged him a couple of weeks ago just to check up on how he is, he didn't mention anything along the lines of 'when are you going to come see me?' so I gathered those plans were off and put them down to the idea being good in the moment but not good in reality.

If I really was planning to visit the US I would at least bring it up again like: Hey I'm coming to the US, were you serious about that offer ? Or just the  'I'm coming to the US' part to see the reaction.

 

#5 9-15-2017 11:11 AM

planxty
Fergy
London, England
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Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

I've had it work for me and I've had it be less than successful, although no horror stories thankfully.

I know it is cliched as all Hell but like sop many cliches it has a basis in fact when I say that "honesty is the best policy".  Lay your cards on the table nd see how it pans out.  If it works out and they feel the same as you then that is great but if not then you have saved yourself a whole shelfload of potential hearrtache.

 

#6 9-15-2017 1:23 PM

Kathrin_E
Kathrin
Karlsruhe, Germany
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Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

All these speculations and imaginations, what the other side may think or want or mean or expect if..., lead to nowhere and nothing except stress and worries and misunderstandings. Ask her directly.

 

#7 9-16-2017 2:31 PM

Aaron101
Aaron
Maidenhead, England
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Wanderer
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Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

Hallow wrote:

I met this girl while in Malaysia

Gains, bro cool

 

#8 9-17-2017 7:44 PM

trippin_jen
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Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

Instead of going to where she'll be at, how about making plans to travel together to another place? If she agrees, at least it means she's also interested in making the effort to meet again?

 

#9 9-18-2017 7:34 PM

amalia12
Sightseer
Posts: 84

Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

Just ask her because she may be feeling the exact same way!....so if you're both trying to play it "cool" then who knows if you'll meet again

 

#10 9-19-2017 4:13 AM

cynthiasmiller
Cindy
Seattle, Washington
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Re: Met someone I badly wanna see again

Tell her you're coming to her location for a visit!  If she seems uncomfortable about it, then let her know that you're going because you've been interested in the location for a while and it would be nice to catch up since you'll be in town anyway.  If she has even a hint of interest for you, she'll be thrilled that you're going out of your way to see her.  Then when you're actually in person, you can feel out the situation and see if she's open to more.  Do it!  If you don't, you'll always wonder, and chances are, so will she!

 

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