Tips - Airlines - United Airlines

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Chicago, Illinois

Tips - Airlines - United Airlines Chicago Reviews

osgoodst osgoodst
115 reviews
United Business First - More like United, Business? First? Jul 11, 2012
Yours truely flies a lot; and a few weeks ago I decided to drop enough money to buy a small horse to fly Chicago to Shanghai in "business First"; which is United's attempt to eliminate normal first class and replace it with a more profitable but slightly less exclusive version of First Class. Its like Planet Hollywood When YOu're hoping for the Hard Rock Cafe.

Ok so flying Business class is a pretty nice luxury, and I've flown many carriers, but this was by far the worst experience I've ever had in a business class environment on an international flight.

On the flight from Chicago to Shanghai the plane was down graded, which meants that instead of getting a nice, bed seat, you instead get a gigantic seat, and a selection of 5 okay movies. However shit happens so I can't fault united too much on this. On the flight back we had the premium cabin planes, and a crew grumpier than Micheal Phelps at Olympics being held in Jeddah.

So to evaluate the quality of an airline I have developed a 50 point system, and then grade it accordingly using the US grading system, i.e. A is highest followed by B, C, D, and F. The catagories are; the seat, the entertainment, the food, staff helpfulness, and staff sexyness, or baring that pleasantness.

So how was the seat? Not bad, got some sleep, and it was big and giant. However on the way out to China it was smaller and more college style easy chair, therefore getting a 5 / 10. On the way out my seatmate left to hang out at another part of the plane; but any bonus points were lossed when the staff decided to take a nap next to me ( as in old snoring bald guy, then an old lady reading 50 shades of grey.... hot)

The entertainment: On the way out we had such great movies as "I bought a zoo" and lots of people complaining about the seats. On the way back we had a full set of movies including such classics and the Princess Bride. Good work United, 10 / 10.

The food: Food is one reason to fly Business First. I had a filet but the fritata for breakfast was nasty. Of course I could get something better at 1/1000 of the price at Whole Foods. The staff was useless and did not keep our drinks full, tsk tsk. 8/10.

The Staff, helpfulness. On the way out they were pretty good, but on the way back their pre flight massage must not have had a happy ending. The curly haired hag who was in my cabin barely even acknowleged us and was openly complaining they had to travel to China. Last time I had this much bottled water at me was when I played the national anthem on my trombone. On the other side of the cabin was a big fat bald guy who kepted hogging the bathroom ( as part of the staff). He was no where pleasant enough to warrent hist position. Also he asked me for my ticket when he didn't recognize me. Hey just look at your list of passengers you doofus. 2/10.

Finally the Hotness. Sorry but this crew was poor at best. And hey you could atleast warm up with a sunny personality? Nope! 0 / 10.

Overall United Business First was a pathetic disapointment. In fact they were so bad they don't get to have their review spell checked, tsk tsk.. Overall they scored a respectable ( if your taking college level organic chemistry) 25 / 50, or 50 %. Thats an F folks, so you need to repeat a year of airline school.
Business Class Cabin with Downgrad…
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nyprne nyprne
52 reviews
Tips - Airlines - United Airlines Nov 11, 2010
Based out of Chicago, Illinois, this airline is my second choice for USA based travel. I have selected them for their coverage and availability out of my home airport in Omaha, Nebraska. While I don’t necessarily enjoy traversing through Chicago’s O’Hare airport, I do recognize its centralized location. Key is to get in that airport early and pass on through before the standard flight delays and cancellations occur.

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