St. Kilda Beach House
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St. Kilda Beach House Melbourne Reviews
Fresh air? What does that mean? Feb 19, 2013
Let me begin by saying that I lived in this hostel for 5 months. Just think about that for a moment. I lived there long enough to see the good and the bad times, throughout different seasons, and with plenty of different people sharing the room.
My biggest warning with this hostel shares blame with what the rest of Australia calls 'miserable Melbourne weather'. If you're coming to Australia for sunshine and beaches, let me tell you right now: If you go at any time other than December or January (the hottest time of the year in Australia), you will feel like you're in the cold, windy, not-quite-raining-but-still-miserably-wet weather to be expected from England. This is true only of Melbourne and to some extent, Sydney as well. I haven't been to Adelaide has lovely weather much of the year, and if you're looking to get a tan in Australia then go to PERTH. NOWHERE but Perth will boast so many blue sky and blinding sunshine filled days.
Back to the Hostel. Because Melbourne's weather is generally muggy (humid, wet, unpleasant), all you want when indoors (and especially when sleeping) is a DRY room. Not gonna happen. Due to council regulations, St Kilda Beach House does not allow ANY of the balcony doors or windows to be opened. EVER. When I was there, my clothes always felt damp, as did my sleeping sheets. All of the rooms have an ensuite (which is great) but the steam from the shower is just too much for the fan to handle. Add another 5 feet of mugginess to your room every time someone has a shower. What's that, you say? "Open the door to let some fresh air in"? We tried. But there are sensors that tell reception (when there is actually someone at reception) that the door is open and they'll come to tell you to close it. "Security reasons." I'm sure that's valid, but it sucks.
So basically, the room smelled like boy's feet, sweat, sex and trying-to-mask-everything-else-deodorant all the time.
Also, the lights are absolutely useless. You can't see what's in your suitcase at any time of the day, even if the curtains are open. Bring a small torch with you or face the blind consequences.
The cleaners were pretty regular throughout the week, but they would always come in around 9am on a Sunday, which ticked everyone off because that was our only day off work and we wanted to sleep in.
Oh, and mind the bed bugs. I got them four times when I was there. Not happy - but at least there's a laundromat 2 doors down run by a lovely old Chinese couple (50c for a scoop of washing powder - bargain!) where you can wash them out of your clothes when it does happen.
The mattresses are covered with a plastic casing in the dorms - very noisy to sleep on - but a room mate of mine once took it off his mattress to sleep. He slept great until he got a weird rash two days later from the mouldy grossness on the mattress.
I can give benefits to the hostel for its free breakfast (usually a choice of 2 cereals, toast, jam/vegemite/butter and water). Fruit juice cost a few dollars over the bar. Everyone would eat their food half slumped over the table with no makeup, birds nest hair and wearing their pyjamas, so don't fuss yourself about looking nice at that time of the day. They have trivia nights, poker nights, dance offs, pool competitions - the bar itself is really good and the only redeeming quality to this hostel.
Location is good. You can walk to St Kilda Road in about 10 minutes to catch one of the numerous trams heading into the city (warning: just buy a ticket. You will get caught if you don't and it's not worth the $60 AUD fine). There's also a tram 2 minutes walk toward the beach (number 96) which has its end of the line stop along Ackland Street. There's no way you're going to catch this tram in the wrong direction (it only goes into the city). Ackland Street itself is home to really great shops and has 2 major supermarkets (one on either side) where you can do your shopping.
Please beware that there are a few streets to keep well clear of after dark (Grey Street, for example) where the ladies of the night do their business. You're also guaranteed to see a transvestite strutting their stuff down Barkly Street at some point.
To get to the St Kilda Beach Hostel from the airport in the cheapest style possible, catch the SkyBus from the airport (bug red bus, can't miss it, leaves every 10 mins, $16 one way) to Southern Cross Station. From there, head outside to catch Tram 96 (as previously mentioned) HEADING TO ST KILDA. If you catch the one going the other way, you're gonna have a bad time.
I hope this review was useful for you!!
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St. Kilda Beach House Overview
The St. Kilda Beach House is located in Melbourne CBD, a five minute walk to National Theatre.
The hostel's garden offers a tranquil corner to sit down and relax. Travellers can take advantage of the available internet access to keep in touch with friends and family while on the road. Guests can also re-energise at the swimming pool.
If you're travelling with a family in tow, the St. Kilda Beach House offers spacious rooms geared towards the requirements of families and kids. All rooms are air conditioned and come with a TV.
Travellers wishing to socialise can take advantage of the St. Kilda Beach House's bar, located on-site for your convenience.
St. Kilda Beach House Amenities