How to survive Amsterdam centre, basic streetknowledge.

#1 If you come across a guy in an alley that askes for a euro, just ignore him, and walk away.. don't worry, he's probably just a homeless person, but sometimes they are junkies that carry some kind of a weapon.
..in that case, pray for your life.
#2 If you're out of travelmoney, ask for a euro and carry a weapon for insurance :-P
#3 If you come across someone that wants to sell you a bike, 90% chance it's probably stolen. So, my advice, don't, even though it's cheaper than renting one from Macbike, just don't.
#4 Don't trust ANYTHING that comes in a little plastic bag..
#5 If you did take it, and start to experience some strange things around you, don't do ANYTHING, until you start functioning normally again. Then, take plenty of water to wash it out of your system.
#6 If you did do something while under the influence, wait until you get a clear head, disguise yourself, and run like hell until you've reached the border, if you encounter the local authority, say that the junkies made you do it.
#7 Don't listen your friends if they are part of a frathouse, they are demons, seriously, drunk students and Amsterdam don't mix.
#8 Don't take any "paddo's" or magic mushrooms, since they are illegalized since Oct. 2007. If the police will catch you with it, the rest of your vacation is screwed.
#9 If you did take a "paddo", don't listen to the pink eliphant screaming in your left ear.
#10 Don't leave your drink unattended, they could slip something like GHB in it, and I'm guessing you don't want to be a mom just yet.
#11 The Amsterdam tourist industry doesn't screw over unknowing naive tourists, so yes, the price is the same we have to pay.
#12 Make sure that if you go by car, PAY for the parking, before the police disable's it with a yellow nasty thing called a "wielklem".
Once they make sure you can't go anywhere by car, you have to go by metro, tram, or bus to get to the nearest policestation to pay a fine of €670. That's the quickest way to get your car back on the road.
#13 Concerning transportation within the city, just buy a "strippenkaart" and you can get far enough, that's the cheapest thing to do. Don't buy a daycard, because they are way to expensive, unless you have a busy day ahead that requires you to travel from one end to another.
#14 If you go by car, and wish to visit the centre, forget it. Everything is inaccesable by car, you have no chance.
#15 Don't rely on the schoolchildren while asking for directions, they can never be trusted, rather go to the information booths located at the different stations throughout the city.

That's it for now, you've learned the basics, so maybe you'll make it out alive! I wish you the best, Mazzel!