El Retiro Eco Lodge

This place is a must.

I think its called an Eco-Lodge because you put lime/ash dust on your poo instead of flushing a toilet but I digress.

El Retiro is about a mile outside Lanquin (not the 500 metres the sign tells you!) and is on the mini-bus route to and from Coban.

The accomodation here is 1. Bring your own tent and pitch it by the river... 2. A Hammock in an open sided hut by the river... 3. One of 4 beds in a straw hut dorm... 4. A double bed private straw hut... 5. The loft of one of the dorm straw huts.

We took a loft...It was so cool! We had our own ladder (seriously) up to our doorless doorway. Our room was cool and breezy as the roof didn't meet the floor (fine until you're getting changed and a gardener walks past and sees your pearly white arse smiling back at him - they expect him out of rehab quite soon). This made it so lovely when the rain started in the middle of the night...falling asleep to rainfall is so relaxing.

When you arrive the staff set up your tab which is paid at the end of your stay so you can lock all valuables away in one the locker available.

The reception hut has 4 computers for internet at Q10 an hour and has details of the tours avaiable as well as bus times (marvellously inaccurate!!) to get back to Coban.

Down at the river is the bar and restaurant. Every evening pretty much all guests convene for the 7pm dinner. The lodge runs a set menu with lovelies such as 'all you can eat Mexican' on Saturday and 'pizza and chips' on thursdays. It's like a fully clothed hippy comune in the evenings with candlelight, great food and chatter. There are also breaky and lunch menus and its all vegetarian!

This place is fabulous, simple as that. Sleeping accommodations are a number huts on stilts rising up the side of a river bank. I got a single room for 55 Quetzales a night (that is about £3.60). Other sleeping arrangements range from hammocks (25Q) to dorms and shared rooms. The whole setting is beautiful; wooded mountainsides rising up from a feisty river with a pretty strong current. Seriously, if you're a poor swimmer, beware! Deciduous trees vie with their conifer cousins - it is quite odd watching hummingbirds trying to get nectar from pine cones - and at night, the whole place is lit up with fireflies.

El Retiro is also "all inclusive" in that you pay for everything at the end. Make sure you bring enough money, it can turn out expensive because of silly little things like getting 75 albums off their network for 200Q (£12). Yes, the hostel has 450,000 songs on their system, fabulous for all those tired MP3 players (unless you have a Sony). Other attractions include an onsite bar and restaurant which is reasonable, internet connections, eco toilets (you put quicklime on your poo).

They also put 5% on your bill at the end. Not because they are mean, but to help pay for local projects for Guatemalans. The lodge arranges tours to the nearby attraction such as Semuc Champey and the bat caves and the shop at the top hires out inner tubes and takes you upstream so you can float down the river and back to the hostel. Fab.

All in all, one groovy place. In the middle of nowhere, but it is worth it. Utterly.